i gots a keyboard...

In my room!  Lightly nifty.  Picture soon, after my camera is finished chargin!  R-Blade!



It's right next to my PC so I can practice my scales and SR while I wait until my PC finishes it's favorite activity; lagging, which is fairly often.  And I like it!

Anyways, I don't want the hero to be cynical anymore.  There will be a cynical character, but he won't be the main.  I guess it'll be more like an FFVI with no mains, or a switch in the middle of the story... like a Terra to Celes.  Or a switch in between like a Squall and Laguna.  Or Felt and Vesse. Whatever! I'm falling in love with my character creations though lol, I don't want them to die.

If my ear gets any worse, I'm blaming it on Dr. Johnson.

Going to head down to Downer tomorrow... hope I get the job!  And I hope I'll be a good group leader.  Just gotta talk loud, coz I'm in charge this time!

Oh, and I perfected my Critical Thinking quiz.  I REALLY thought I'd miss one, because I wrote "a premise" but afterwords I knew it should have been "a premise or more".  WHEW.  Why am I so satisfied with getting a good grade?  I guess it's the same as someone judging me, like getting a "you're cool!".  g'awww thank you! But no thanks, coz even though praise may feel good, I'll only grow with critical disagreement responses, so BRING IT ON!!! But it's done, and I got a perfect score.  Must.  Fight this selfishness of getting a good score, because why should I be happy when there are children in Africa being starved at this very moment... child abuse in a corner in Richmond, depressed children... neglected children... GRAAAH. It sucks because I can do something about this, and hopefully I won't make it worse.

And Professor Ampim said that the best way to prevent a divorce is to not get married lol.  I think at his level, Dr. Dang, Ledbetter, Barnes, OMG so many great professors... they are the ideal teachers to be.  I am glad I am or took their class to experience their godliness.

Excuse my optimism.  I must gradually make my mood transition to elementary school teacher, excited for learning... how I think this optimism acting is best suited for the job.

jrpgs.

rpgs finished:  Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy II, Final Fantasy IV, Final Fantasy VI, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy IX, Chrono Trigger, Chrono Cross, Super Mario RPG, Paper Mario, Legend of Mana, Sword of Mana, Golden Sun, Golden Sun The Lost Age, Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts II, Atelier Iris Eternal Mana, Atelier Iris 2 Azoth of Destiny, Atelier Iris 3 Grand Phantasm, Mana Khemia, Mana Khemia 2, Ar Tonelico, Ar Tonelico 2, Persona 3: FES, Persona 4, Xenosaga Episode 1, Xenosaga Episode 2, Xenosaga Episode 3, La Pucelle, Pokemon Red, Pokemon Silver, Pokemon Crystal, Pokemon Sapphire, Pokemon Diamond, Pokemon Platinum, Pokemon SoulSilver, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team.

not completed, but over 50%:  Dragon Quest VIII, Final Fantasy V, Final Fantasy VIII,  Final Fantasy XII, Lufia 2, Grandia, The World Ends With You, Lunar: Dragon Song, Harvest Moon: Back to Nature.

own: Samurai Legend Musashi, Evolution, Evolution 2, Timestalkers, Skies of Arcadia, Grandia 2, Phantom Brave, Okage, Dragon Warrior Monsters Tara's Adventure.

started out, with only a few hours in:  Star Ocean III, Final Fantasy X, Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga.

have access to:  Suikoden III, Suikoden IV, Suikoden Tetris w/e, Grandia III, Grandia Xtreme, Wild Arms II, Wild Arms III, Wild Arms IV, Dark Cloud, Dark Cloud 2, Devil Summoner 2, Final Fantasy X-2, Final Fantasy Tactics, Legend of Dragoon, Brave Fencer Musashi, Disgaea, Chaos Wars, Nightmare of Druaga, Breath of Fire V, Romancing Saga, Unlimited Saga, Dragon Quest, Dragon Quest II, Dragon Quest III, Dragon Quest IV, Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones.

want:  Shadow Hearts, Digital Devil Saga, Xenogears, Parasite Eve.

need to focus. and think about the future.

Obsessed with Lufia 2.

Playing FFX.

Stuck on Adel on FFVIII.  I keep killing Rinoa.

Failed Exotic Ethic.

Had 2 chances, but missed them.  First chance, I didn't recognize her LOL.  Second, I was passed back a paper when she was passing by me and I was embarrassed of my -30 LOL.

Piano is fun.

Oklahoma VS Miami was a disappoint. Wade wasn't even playing and they still lost... but maybe it would be different if the starters played most of the time.  Oh well.  These rookies are unpredictable.

That is all.

another...

unproductive day! LOL

Man Phoenix Suns... they need a big guy.

Boston's line up is crazy.

jaskdl;fj!

I've been looking at other people's blogs.  Those people that are my age.  I am getting so old!

feel like rereading harry potter.

And I feel like writing my own story.  I'll treat it like my child, and that I would add gradually to how I feel and such, except right now it's been lined up as an RPG game with the music and boss battles... and characters that look like advertisements.

EDIT.

Main character's name is Deske.  I thought of the name while I was sitting down in a chair in the library, and a desk happens to be in front of me. So, it's Deske!

He's going to be really cynical.

And he falls in love with this music major.  Forgot her name though.. was it like Leena?  Anyways she really hates the world, and she's a whore.  And then events happen, and they join a party of people of different majors, and that music major girl happens to be part of this opposing organization, as she was a spy all along.  And near the end she is revealed to be God.

Deske:  ILY

Leena:  Why?

Deske: It's a feeling, stupid.  IDK why.

And then we'll shift to... forgot what I named the other guy.  Hmm, how about Boss.

Boss: ILY

Girl he lieks:  Why?

Boss: *lists all things why he loves her*

Girl: *REJECTS*

Yeah, it's the same story as the one a few months ago, just changing stuff up, line up ideas, and then start writing!

I want their names to be something google don't have much results for.

Mystery.  Action.  Romance.

empty shell?

Regardless of this bad day, I feel so motivated.

And I realized that I don't have opinions.  I know I have some deep down, but there are some that I truly don't wish to express.

This weekend I need to:

Practice Piano

Dermatologist appointment

Write down Oral Speech for History

Read Gov ch 6 and ch5 on California today

Think of a  topic that I have an opinion on

Review Arguments

Think of when I'm going to visit elementary schools: 1. Fairmont, 2. Woodrow Wilson, 3. Mira Vista.  And think of questions I may have to ask Professor Gottesman.

Think of what to wear for that 3 o'clock thing because she will be there. And I have to say hi. LOL

-

It's happening to me again.  I have this REALLY heavy crush.  omfg. But it's going to push me to work hard in school, and the result will make my parents happier! So it's a positive thing either way I guess. I don't know, I'll feel like I'm living though.

case closed.

I think the reason why I was holding on for so long, is because I felt like I was the perfect one.  We complemented each other in so many ways, and I just had a feeling that we could be together.  I may not reflect who I am in this other world, but it was just something deep down, and I could feel, and know what kind of person she is.  I had that hope, and that certainty that it would work out.  Now I know it's not like that, and other people are so different in judging others.  I think, this is the reason, and now I can finally let it go.

I never knew her.  I felt that we would know each other.  I was too inner confident about it, only to get a peculiar result that I haven't anticipated.  Too much inner confidence destroys, especially keeping in mind that being humble is the way to go.

I'm hopping onto the bandwagon, and living life for my own well-being.  I know I've been doing this unconsciously, but now I'll make sure I realize it. With this, fused with living life for something else, I'd feel... I don't know how I would feel, but I'll do whatever from now on to find out!

No more looking for you.  No more waiting for you to come.  No more hopes.  This is it.  Thank you for occupying my time.  Thank you for the memories.   Thank you for making me so happy during those times.  Thank you for being you.  I can move on now.  Thank you again.  Thank you for everything.  I'm not going to do anything to rekindle our relationship ever again.

making my shots.

I'm more energized when it's dark.  I wish everyone was awake so I don't have to worry about waking anyone up when I play basketball at night.  Though, all I'm approving upon are my shots.  The rough terrain has made me adapt to stand in place and shoot, so I'm evolving without dribbling skills.  Sorta like a Tyrogue.  With higher defense than attack, it would transform into Hitmonchan.  With more attack, it becomes Hitmonlee.  Being neutral, would make it a Hitmontop.  I'll suffer in a one on one, because I can't get near the court, and I'd have no choice but to shoot with someone guarding me.

I think the reason why I'm not approving on my piano is that I'm not playing songs I like.  Thanks to Riulyn and Shimapiano, I finally have sheet music that I'd actually want to play, and I'd actually know how the song is actually supposed to sound like.  Songs from Donkey Kong Country, Donkey Kong Country 2, Legend of Mana, and Lufia 2 so far.  I'll see how I do with that.

I'll concentrate on approving my speech by participating more in class.  It's an opportunity.  The professor benefits because someone is participating, as well as myself, for actually talking. I also notice that, after I speak, I lose focus.  I'm thinking about what I have said, and I'm thinking what they said to me, so the next five minutes or so, my attention is on those now, memories.  I guess that's another side-affect of being quiet.

Things I'll have in my classroom:  Professor Layton Poster (with a "Critical thinking is the key to a success" caption.  Simpsons poster with that "read man, read" insignia.  The same one from Ms. Headington's class, because the class needs to read.  I'll enforce SSR, reading logic, math, presentations, and... more SSR.  And I'll read Hardy Boys to the class.  Excuse me for getting slightly off topic.  I also want a poster that says "educere means to bring out" with a Super Saiyan next to it.

What else... Detective Conan poster of course.  Something Pokemon.  I'll have  a couple of Chess sets.  And I'll need a couple of basketballs.  Actually, I'll bring one, for use only when I play with them or when I'm on yard duty.

I'll also have a lot of plants.  To absorb the carbon from my student's computer brains buahahaa ahem.   But I will have a lot of plants.  Hopefully they won't die.

Then I have the thoughts on how to get there from here.  My very first step should be finding a place for my volunteer hours to get a taste of it.  This will be a third bite.  Hopefully it won't be a mistake, in that reflection in which I get tired of eating the same food over and over.  But then again, each class will be different?  It's always the same set of kids.  The clown, the quiet one, and all those in between.  Hmm I won't know, unless I take my first step though.  And I really wanted to end this entry with "hopefully they won't die."  Oh well.