tbh

If people don't say "to be honest" does that mean they are lying.

The only reason why I go online is to stalk her...

I am so creepy.

Sylvia Plath uses a lot of adverbs in her diary... but then again, she's only writing for herself.  Like what I am supposed to be doing.

I also watched Ratatouille.  The scene with all the hanged rats disturbed me so much, and it is because of that scene that I may never want to watch that movie again.  I thought the movie was fantastic though.

I went to church today.

The opening song was on page 666.

On second thought, I have no one.  If the now matters, there is no one now, nor is there anyone in the future.

The friends I now think I have were all in the past.

I thought I was going to die when I was in college.  Since I've finished, and I haven't died, my future is screwed.

Because I am not dead now.

Unless I can make myself dead... ha... ha... ha.

Enough with this "in the real world" shit.  Stop saying whatever you're saying is the real world.  You're just talking about capitalism and being a slave to money.  That is no way associated with "the real world." So shut the fuck up.

...I wish I was never exposed to the Dobe Joansi, Hopi Indians, thoughts of death, genetics, and modern entertainment.

When I try to reason with everything, I try to neglect my emotions as much as possible, and doing that makes me go crazy.

Is it because doing what's "right" and within reason is satisfying an external emotion?  Like another way of caring about others.  Reasoning is about caring about others other than yourself?

Or am I going crazy because it is entirely impossible to change perception?  Everything I see, and everything I do, is all about me, and how it relates to me, and I can't change it no matter what because I am me anyways?

I can't understand people. I think the only thing I can do is relate to them... even though they will never relate to me.

?!?!?!

I really can't put my thoughts into words.

What about this?

Life is a competition, with predetermined results.

I keep trying to convince myself that I am alone and I have no friends... but I really do, in retrospect there were people in college that I actually talked to in a daily basis, and... stuff.

-I shared a glass of wine with this girl who was attractive.  But I liked someone else.

-I went shopping with this girl who was attractive, but i liked someone else.

-I talked to this cool, (well obviously he's cool because he's black), black guy on the train everyday, and we had deep meaningful conversations.

-I got along really well with this artist white girl.

-I worked really well with this Mexican girl with essentially with the same name as my brother (first and last name).

-I feel that I am best friends with this one Chinese guy.

-One high school friend of mine still talks to me, even though there's like a three week interval in between, still, she initiates conversation with me.

-And I have all my online friends.

I am not a loner, but I always tell myself that I am.

Maybe because there is not a single person who waits and waits for me to talk to them, like how I wait for her to talk to me.  If she talks to me again, then I probably wouldn't be writing something like this.

I think the next Pokemon game will be a Hoenn x Kalos crossover.  Both games have events that refer to a war 3,000 years ago.  A battle between Zygarde and Rayquaza.  And they are both green!  So I think it will be another sequel Pokemon game like Black and White 2, and would both emcompass both Kalos and Hoenn regions, just like what Generation 2 did, AND will have the Battle Frontier and Juan.

Societal pressure sucks when it does not have the same ideals as you.

I tried killing myself again yesterday.  My belt was too short, and could not properly tie around the bars of the stairs... or I couldn't tie it properly.  Dammit, should have been a boy scout.

RIP HAIR

Battle Maison 50 Consecutive Wins

Pokemon Alpha Sapphire, 50th battles against the Battle Chatalaine

Super Single Battle vs Nita:  X6UW-WWWW-WWWG-M8CH

Super Double Battle vs Evelyn: ZN5G-WWWW-WWWG-6DTD

Super Triple Battle vs Dana:  T8QW-WWWW-WWWH-JWTB

Super Rotation Battle Vs Morgan:  E8JG-WWWW-WWWH-ZNBL

Super Multi Battle Vs Nita and Morgan: (Forgot to press record!  I was up against Virizion/ Thundurus/ Terakion/ Landorus.  This is the only mode where my team lost.  I lost at the 43rd battle my first play through.)  

Got my 50 consecutive wins in Super Doubles!

With...

Kangaskhan
Milotic
Aegislash
Landorus

Also beat each Master Rank in Contest Spectacular three times for the statue for my Super Secret Base.

Got my 50 consecutive wins in Super Singles!

Found all Megastones and TMs, beat Lisia in a Master Contest, and captured 718 Pokemon.

All I want to do now is to get 800 more flags to get Platinum Rank on the Super Secret Base Guild, and win 50 consecutive wins in Super Doubles, Triples, Rotations, and Multi (I wonder if I will get another monument?)

Also visited my old elementary school in Richmond... it's the same.  I love it.

Watch this battle of mine... Lol (Connect through the PSS then use VS Recorder and enter the code)

7VDG-WWWW-WWWE-4NV8