my last reading partner days.

Today was my last day at Reading Partners.  The kids only asked why.  I should have made up a better excuse.  Like said I got fired.

Anyways, it was sorta solemn.  The site coordinator said see ya, as her last words to me.  I felt like I expected something more... since I did volunteer for three hours every week for three months, and doing it all for charity.  I haven't got a physical tangible award... except an envelope asking for donations.  I helped kids, I guess I should feel a reward in that, but I did not get something for thanks for being here, and you'll be missed kind of message.  I guess this is part of being a good person, and I knew from the start what I was doing.  I wanted to do it out of pure charity and my own good will, but a part of me expected something more.  This is why I'm greedy.

Now that that part of my life has closed, another part of my mind that's occupying time and soul is love.  I think I'm in love with her, and when she mentioned "him" I fell like I was torn apart and there was nothing I can do but sort of laugh it off.  I feel that she is in a deep relationship with another, since the name she calls him is... her spouse... lol.  All I can do is wait.  And my sinister evil plan on meeting her failed.  It was a five step plan, and I couldn't even get to step 1.  Maybe that's why I fail so much.  But then again, they're always in relationships already.  I try to make the girl fall for me before I do anything, but I fails.

 

it's December

And I'm falling in love.

Days from now the coldness in the atmosphere will freeze my shell summoning coldness to my core. Soon my interior will be frozen and I can't get away from it, bringing forth the fifth ice age to my heart.

She seems like someone I'm looking for.

Except, she lies. (But then again, I guess people that are similar to each other are better off with each other.  I lie too!)

I'm only hoping that I don't walk into a person already in a relationship again. And if she is, I hope I find out any second now before its too late.