Really wish to die in my sleep right about now... it would be a dream come true... ha... ha..

Something really stupid... arguing over words.

I should stop trying to be liberal, and Just Go With My Own Aesthetics.  It can't be undone, just let it be natural and defend what I feel

In another universe, if everyone was generally good, with the News talking about good things, and just people acting friendly ALL the time with no experiences of anything bad... and all of a sudden bad stuff occurs, what bad be the "good" thing that people would seek since it is so uncommon?

Don't really care about traveling... just want to decorate my room differently like once every two weeks

Almost 2014...

2013 summed up, I lost interest in everything.

I just thought of something really cool but I forgot what it was, all I remember was that I wanted to post it in my blogspot so you're only getting half of my thought this time :(

omg some people are just so WHITE.  ESPECIALLY WHITE PEOPLE.  SOME WHITE PEOPLE ARE SO WHITE. I LOVE STEREOTYPES. LOL.

Changing how I think about feeling for certain things... second thinking sympathy

Most important thing I think in school, regarding your career, is to network

Felt better doing nothing than now that I have done something... ugh so painful.

There is way too many people

Tbh, I would have let her go much earlier if her changes were more noticeable, say, going out a lot more for isntance.

But she did not change.  She stays home and plays LoL all day and browses around.

I could have still been with her through it all.

And I miss it.

Semi-moving on was my defense mechanism.  Why did I not recognize it?  How come only now that it has been so long since we have talked, that I am able to put it into words?

5 and 3 look funny on digital clocks...
It looks like two staples side by side.

Collegeboard should include student suicide rates per college... so I'd know which one has the least... and perhaps increase it... ha... ha... ha.

Uncomforming=Death

Waking Up Holding My Head

It is like the emotions I want can only be achieved through death...

So weird how when I was a science major, I was pushed into thinking to trust my emotions.

And now I'm an arts humanities-like major, they are pushing me to support my ideas with facts...

WHICH ONE IS IT?!??!  Like What the Fuck?

If I had no major, I'd be the same, fragmented and unsupported claims.  Yup, that's me.  Like a 19th Century German thinker.

Anxiety level increasing

So much things everywhere, and all I do is catch a small glimpse... it's like I don't take my time to understand anything anymore... what is fully understanding something anyway?  Tolerating it until it doesn't aggravate you?

What is understanding someone?  Putting things in words the other person couldn't do and that person realizing that that's what the person wanted to say?

Things to Bring Me Back to Earth

-I am not in war
-I am not within the 200,000 people dying of starvation each year

Things to dance about:
-My family is alive
-She is still living and does not have a boyfriend

Gained a HUGE appreciation for short stories...

if Legend of Mana was released in this generation of consoles, it would be getting 10/10s.  Just a bad time for a game like this in 1999, being side by side Final Fantasy VII, IX, Chrono Trigger, and all those other rpgs with Epic storylines.

Excited to start Romancing Saga... and maybe I'll replay Atelier Iris 3.

Putting Off Things Until Tomorrow... or Until I Die

I was four when I realized I had people around me, and that things will always be the same.
Until I turned four and three quarters.

It was a karaoke video of ... this guy who died.  What is death?

Being buried.  You're in a enclosed casket underground, can't breath, bugs everywhere.

But that won't happen until many years from now... so don't worry about it.

So don't worry about the future.  Dying won't happen until many years pass.
Don't worry about the test, your future job, your future family, your own well being, because nothing is going to happen until many years pass.  Just wait.  Procrastinate.  Because nothing will affect you until many years pass.

Really cool people can be boring, so it's okay to be boring.