I'm missing an August entry

asdf! (September 20 2010)

edit-  what I did this summer in an m&m. Because nutshells suck:

Went to West Coast University in Anaheim, passed HESI without studying and met David Tucker, with his quotes engraved in my mind- "windows down, music up", "my mom's a nurse", "I'll tell you straight off the bat", "nursing is the most rewarding career"... and blah blah.  It was so awkward, because I totally didn't know I'd ever step foot in that building.  My bro just randomly stumbled on its ad in the newspaper, and before I knew what school it was, we arrived at the building's front door.

Attended family's college graduation in San Diego.  I would've talked to the ladies if my lil cousin wasn't with us.

Finished Mana Khemia 2.Great game, I want to do a review of it and post it on Gamefaqs.

Watched Dragon Ball Z, Cell Saga.  Cuhz Nathan got me back into this game.  And while I'm at it, Barnes & Nobles had an interesting book on emotional intelligence.  I want to go back and read about it.

Took Microeconomics.  Didn't do my best as usual.  I was still in the real recovery mode, and in the process of reviving "it."  But I failed.  Both.

And found out that she despises my existence.  Another reason for me to die.

Alivio X Ricardo wedding!

coming soon...

edit:  or not.  Too lazy to upload pictures, but it was very fun, except I suck so much at cam cording.

...

Her friend pissed me off today.  Why do they keep bringing up the past?!?! I don't like being aggravated.  Or judged.  Sigh.  People just don't get it, why are you talking to me if you're just going to judge me, or pick on me... what's worse is that they judge me based on their own assumptions.  It's so frustrating.  Though, I started tearing when she finally realized it.  But she'll never know that, because I didn't respond to what she said, nor did I say what I was feeling except my anger "caps lock" response.

Trying to find more Chloe pictures.  She's just so awesome. And her voice is just so super sexy. She's kind of like Jacqli.

I really wish my MapleStory screenshot button worked, I would be blogging about that.

LeBron joined the Heat.  Wade, Bosh, and LeBron... hope they can beat the Lakers!  They BETTER beat the Lakers... if its them in the Finals.

I've been shooting a lot of baskets in my backyard court too.  I get this intense neutral satisfaction and confidence by making consecutive swishes.

I was so motivated to pump up my Pokemon deck.. and then I saw pictures of the new cards.  One energy to do 30+ damage?  Such a turn off.

And I finally leveled my original Pokemon team of 6 to 100. Typhlosion, Ampharos, Quagsire, Noctowl, Jumpluff, and Sudowoodo.  My teams main problem is its speed, though I love having my old original team from my GB Silver.  I exchanged Quagsire for my Red Gyarados and Noctowl for Pidgeot however.  Now I just need to get Crobat and Heracross (with Headbutt) back for the memories.

repost from sarah's xanga.

"I know I have a pretty good sense for music, but she was better than me. I used to think it was such a waste! I thought, ‘If only she had started out with a good teacher and gotten the proper training, she’d be so much further along!’ But I was wrong about that. She was not the kind of child who could stand proper training. There just happen to be people like that. They’re blessed with this marvelous talent, but they can’t make the effort to systematize it. They end up squandering it in little bits and pieces. I’ve seen my share of people like that. At first you think they’re amazing. Like, they can sight-read some terrifically difficult piece and do a damn good job playing it all the way through. You see them do it, and you’re overwhelmed. you think, ‘I could never do that in a million years.’ But that’s as far as they go. They can’t take it any further. And why not? Because they won’t put in the effort. Because they haven’t had the discipline pounded into them. They’ve been spoiled. They have just enough talent so they’ve been able to play things well without any effort and they’ve had people telling them how great they are from the time they’re little, so hard work looks stupid to them. They’ll take some piece another kid has to work on for three weeks and polish it off in half the time, so the teacher figures they’ve put enough into it and lets them go to the next thing. And they do that in half the time and go on to the next piece. They never find out what it means to be hammered by the teacher; they lose out on a certain element required or character building. It’s a tragedy." (Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood)

I thought this was very good.  It's the way I've been acting.  I must not listen to other people and I MUST put my own self down.

...

I achieved level 155 today in MapleStory.  I accidentally landed on her channel too.  She seems to be having so much fun without me, I feel so left out.  Why did she do this?  Now she'll make things so awkward... even if I was in the guild again, we'd make things so awkward.  It should be me who's mad because it was her who gossiped about me to her best friend and my friends.  I know I'm blinded... I want to know how long it'll last though.

Is she really insecure?  Doesn't look like her BF is that close to her.  Is it a non serious relationship?  She did say "does online count?" And then there's the time where she got jealous of me training with Chelle.  And then when I said I moved on, she got mad at me, like she wouldn't want to talk to me, when she could've just said what was wrong nicely.  Then, she wanted me to talk to her despite what I did and that I still like her.  And then again... she completely killed it when I said I moved on about a month ago.

But something's wrong.  Why did she stop being my friend at that one point when I wouldn't talk to her?  It's so strange.

Eh, whatever.  I'll stick to think that she is annoyed with me, and that I'll show her by showing Marites my effort, which are my letters. Yup.  Plus time management, I should be able to balance school, and this.

actually.

The ending wasn't as bad as I thought.  She genuinely didn't know me.  She genuinely didn't understand me.  And it's her attitude, not mine.  I was okay with everything until she gets mad.  So, I'll let it rest.  It was also her who looked in the trash.

She contradicted herself with every word said.  She's the one who assumes.  She's the one who takes sarcasm.  She takes everything I said so seriously.  She's the one who likes online relationships.  She's the one with failed friendships.  She's the only one with only one genuine friend she can hold onto.

She needs the love more so WTF am I saying.  Now's not the time to feel stressful, I have a test to study for, but I can't help but worry about her.  I don't want her to lose faith in genuine people like me.  Well, she's fed up with me.  I guess I should respect her.  But then she says actions speak louder than words, so I guess I have to act on something?  Like showing that I'm holding on even without any words to her.  Yup, that's what I'm doing.  99.99% chance she won't see that though, thus again she contradicts herself.

Talking at her instead of talking to her?  And yeah, she's right about me being forced to talk to her.  I don't like talking like that, she should give me something to work on.

And she stopped it through text.. I guess we both aren't truly important to each other, and this is indeed impertinent.  Still, I'm stressing.  shieeet.

dammit.

what if she thinks I'm creepy now.

What if...

And then there was that episode on Arthur.  Buster Baxter went away and he came back.  And at the end of the song, a lyric went sorta like:  Once close, you can be together again.

I forgot how the song went, but we were close before... can we be together again?  What if I'm creepy, she told me it was her last time talking to me, and her tone sounded dark and fed up, and her best friend tells me that she's fed up, but I still don't believe her best friend.

But its her best friend for over 10 years (I think).  They talk about everything together.

Are friendships based on tuition rather than on information like the market?  It probably is.  We haven't even spoken together face to face.  So I guess that's how much she has affected me.

RPGs

RPGs I've played... and beaten.

Finished: Super Mario RPG, Chrono Trigger, Pokemon Red, Pokemon Blue, Pokemon Silver, Pokemon Sapphire, Pokemon FireRed, Pokemon Diamond, Pokemon Platinum, Pokemon SoulSilver, Final Fantasy I, Final Fantasy II, Final Fantasy IV, Final Fantasy VI, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy IX, Legend of Mana, Sword of Mana, Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts 2, Xenosaga Episode I, Xenosaga Episode II, Xenosaga Episode III, Persona 3: FES, Persona 4, Ar Tonelico, Ar Tonelico II, Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana, Atelier Iris: The Azoth of Destiny, Atelier Iris 3: Grand Phantasm, Mana Khemia, Mana Khemia 2, La Pucelle: Tactics, Ogre Battle 64, Harvest Moon 64, Harvest Moon: Back to Nature, Chrono Cross

Played (Not finished): Seiken Densetsu 3, Grandia, Dragon Quest VIII, Final Fantasy V, Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy XII, Star Ocean 3, Lunar: Dragon Song, The World Ends With You, Atelier Annie

Look: Okage, Wild ARms 2, Wild ARms 4, Secret of Evermore, Secret of Mana, Lufia 2, Final Fantasy X-2, Magic Pengal, Grandia II, Star Ocean, Ogre Battle, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy III, Pokemon Yellow, Brave Fencer Musashi