those memories.

We met.

We hung out.

We became friends.

I was told I was being annoying, thus I "ran away."

We made up, she got mad at me again.  "I lied"?  I apologized.

We were friends again.  We became really close.  She got annoyed in between, but we were getting closer to become better friends.

I still liked her, she got mad.  When I moved on, she got mad again.

I couldn't take it anymore, I wanted to see if she liked me back again.  It backfired, her card's in reverse.

I apologized.  We were in contact again.

She didn't talk to me, I only had to talk to her.

I was confused, I talked to her again, she got mad because I wasn't talking to her.

We made up, we were friends for a bit.

She got mad again, because I wasn't really talking "to" her.

We made up again.  I talked "at" her.

She wants me to talk to her.  She's fed up, and she leaves me.

My friendships hurt in this process:  C, C, C, M, M, M, M, A, B, S

Friendships gain:  None

Loses:  Grades went down, faith in love and friendship went down, confidence went down, Time loss, thoughts loss

Gains:  Death to superficiality.  Talking.  Thinking about someone for motivation.  Doing things for her. Confronting with ease. Learned to not talk about myself (only when asked or if I want to start something)

Thus, I begin another isolation phase.

Love Saga II, case closed.

-

We'll meet again. And hopefully I'll be ready to be the better friend.   My feelings and dignity will only grow stronger with time, and time apart.

I tried my best to change for her.  But I guess I can't change, because maybe I didn't love her that much.  I'll always be myself.  And I'm happy with myself.  I think.

No, I do love her that much, I just couldn't change even though I thought I did, but it didn't appear so to her.

I realized that I only fell in love once IRL.  The rest had been online.

I'm over her.

No I'm not.

But I can be.

Do I want to be?

Yes I do want to be.

But I probably won't be.

No I don't want to be.

Why would I miss a perfect future?

But it might not be a perfect future.

Yes it would be.

I know it would be.

I feel it would be.

But it's not going to be, so I should give up.

There's hope.

No, hope failed me so many times.

But that's the point of hope.

To believe that things will happen.

That's running away from hope.

What do I do?

Go with the flow, maybe I'll forget about her and someone else will come to my life.

There are multiple "ones" after all.

It takes a long time for me to feel that way though, I'm so attached.

Will I fall out of love with the other one?

No I won't.

Yes I will.

It'll be different.

Maybe I just didn't try hard enough.

I don't know, I guess...

I should try harder.

To do what?

To show that I like her?

She doesn't want that.

Just do what she says...

but what can I do to do what I say?

I'll be a robot if I'm like that.

Just do what she says.  Be calm.

Don't act like a pansy.  Maybe that's what she doesn't want.

We'll be together.

Eventually.

Give it time for now.

Something will happen between us.

It's never the end.

Its a never ending story.

Too bad, you crossed paths with The Jason.

-

I'm afraid, that if I move on, I wouldn't want to be your friend anymore.

I'm afraid that I'll fall for you again.

I'm afraid that I might be your friend only because I like you that way.

Why is it so hard to be honest?

I get confused with those feelings, and my natural feelings. They conflict, and you get a contradictory person.

Ugh.  Time apart, time apart is what we need.

I'm glad she's taken the bad memories with me with her.  It would've hurt if she took the good ones. She wasn't hurt, therefore I assume she took the bad memories.