moon saggitarius.

Dammit, it's fucking useless talking about myself to others if its not her =_=

They don't fucking care. Her moon sign is a friggin Gemini. She cares because she's her.

Just get to work.  Stop thinking, and get to work.  Once I get to work, I can get thinking.

"I am not going to adapt."

What the hell does that mean. Ugh. She said that I'm not willing to change, and she won't adapt.  She won't adapt to me now, but she would if I change?  I said I'd change, but it won't work, because I'm not talking to her.  How can she see the change, she won't believe anything I say.  Why the hell am I so obsessive.  I know any problem can be solved.  I need to think harder... I'm not giving up.

How do I admit to reverse psychology?

How do I admit that I was testing her if she was really my friend?

Why the hell do I not admit anything?

Why the hell do I admit truths as lies?

I wish I never emailed her.  Because I would send the first real email I ever wrote to her.  I was so honest and confident with it, and I said everything I wanted to say.  It gets harder to fix things the more I break it.  Usually people would replace others... but I won't.  Even my tangible belongings, I keep them forever.  They have patches, but in my heart, they are what they are and were.

-

"I'm fed up with you."

If she was blunt, that's what she would've said.  Why did I have to care so much about my ego? We naturally care about ourselves.  I wish I didn't.  I hate nature.

I think I get it now.  I'll give it some space, then come back later.

I don't think I can change.  I only talked to people so I can get experience to talk to her.  Now that she's gone, talking about myself only makes me feel awkward and weak.