confused as fuck.

I found her blog unintentionally.  She was gone, and I missed her so I googled her name lol. And now I’m confused.  What the hell does she want me to do?  She blogs about how inconsiderate and annoying I am.  She talks about how she has to deal with me, and she calls me an idiot.  Wow, what an insolent douchebag.  She should look at herself before calling me an idiot.  She’s the type that sites in a corner, talking about how sad her life is, and she’s doing nothing about it.  What the fuck.  Then she tells my friends how much of an asshole and inconsiderate idiot I am.  Double what the fuck.  Seriously, she should get her facts straight.  I responded with that sad face because I miss her blogging, but in reality I was so fucking happy that day that she wanted me to talk to her. But what the hell, does she want to be my friend or what.  We’re still in contact with each other, she doesn’t talk to me, yet I talk to her, and she gets annoyed.  I love her, so I’m not going to give up.  But still, what the fuck, girls like this… wow.

How the hell am I being a stalker if I don’t even talk to her much.  I don’t even see her much.  I don’t even talk to her much.  But she still hates me.  She thinks I’m a little kid.  Ironically, she’s letting this little kid get to her.

I don’t know if those are her true feelings, because her blogs are not as detailed.  Her writing style is like “my day, blah blah what I did, what I like.”  It’s not that in depth of feeling, motives, thoughts, and motivation.  Maybe that’s why reading her blog feels awkward.  It’s different than the good writers I read on Xanga.

Bleh, I wonder what I do to make her so angry at me.  It’s fucking up my mind, what the hell does she want?  I give her things, she’s not even thankful for anything.  What has she done for me?  Unintentional helpings.  So she doesn’t really want to help me. It’s just what the fuck.  But I’ll let it flow.  We’ll talk if something comes up with me, that might be interesting to talk about.  But right now, I think I should stay away from outlandish ass people like her.  Her friend is nice though, I’m happy for that, and I think she’s noticing how weird she is acting.  Unreasonably angry… why the hell do I matter anyway if she doesn’t want to deal with me.  I guess it’s because I keep talking to her.  But I don’t really even talk to her.  Then she gets mad at me for NOT talking to her.

Though I'm sorta glad that she's thinking about me lol