closer we get the more distant we get.

I hung out with her today in Maple.  It was strange, we didn't talk much, I even felt that she was mad at me.  Actually, we didn't talk at all, we were just doing our own thing, but we were together.  And I think because we weren't talking when we were together, we are becoming more distant.  I don't want this to happen, so I have to come up with something quick.  I guess I have to talk, because apparently she won't talk to me.  She's not starting anything, I have to learn quirky follow-ups in our conversations to keep things interesting.  I hope we'll hang out again soon.

I think I'm still in love with her.  I'm getting confused.  There's this other girl in my Chem class who's really attractive, I really wish I was in her group.  She's so... weird, that it's cute and hot.  And attractive.  I don't know much about her though, and she looks like she's the type that's constantly doing something, and I'm doing nothing makes me feel too inferior for someone like her.  I don't know, maybe I should start talking to her.

My Chemistry professor said I'm so quiet that it's like I'm not there.  I blame my lab partner for leaving me, she dropped the class I assume because she missed three labs already.  She keeps getting sick.  So now I'm stuck with people I cannot relate to.  An Indian and Mexican, surrounded by ghettofied Filipinos.  Mr. Ledbetter told my colleagues who sit around me to say hi to me once in a while, and to ask how I was doing.  I felt happy but weird at the same time.  I liked the attention, but I did talk to them sometimes... is it my voice?  Yes, it's probably my voice, they can't hear me because I talk too quiet.  I'm so voice self-conscious. But I'm really okay for not "being there."  It's kind of what I like to do. I really don't want to be living. I hate pain.

Oh well, I'm drifting apart from her, and I'm not liking any second of it.  What do I have to do to rekindle this spark... besides using the complementary flint striker of this Bunsen burner?!