short weekends.

Since I think I've lost interest in MapleStory because of all the Potential equips and godly damage everyone else has except me, I've been playign around my Ipod and downloaded a few apps. Played Bloons Tower Defense 4 Saturday.  And now I've been looking into Hyperdimension Neptunia for the PS3, and I'm feeling so behind on the current generation of games.

When I get a PS3, I need Atelier Annie, that game, Ar Tonelico 3, Cross Edge, Marvel VS Capcom 3, FF XIII, Disgaea 3, and those other junks that I wanted before.  I think there was an RPG about Chopin which I think I'd want to try.

But I won't get a PS3 once Xenoblade/Monad has its official release date, and I'll be getting a Wii instead.

I'm currently playing my DS, alternating between Lufia Curse of the Sinistrals and Golden Sun Dark Dawn, both of which I started today.   I think I'll just start the games, but I'll continue finishing up Diabolical Box.  I think I'm stuck in the forest with some lantern lighting question.

On console, I've been playing Street Fighter Alpha 3 often, and now I want to replay the Ar Tonelico series.  Or should I finish up my new game plus on Chrono Cross?  I think I'll do Crono Cross first since the PSX is already set up in my room, and I'll just play AT when no one else is downstairs (PS2 downstairs).

Been playing a lot of basketball too.  And watching a lot. I missed the last Boston Lakers game of the season because I had a class during that game.  I know it'll be last because San Antonio Spurs will knock them out the second round.

Looking forward to All-Star weekend next week!  And that's it.  Not looking forward to anything else lol.

my really weird dream.

I fell asleep after playing Street Fighter Alpha 3 on Thursday.

And then I had the weirdest compilation of dream sequences I ever remembered.  I'll type this really fast before I forget.

The first one, was that I was a CNA.  I was giving this huge fat lady a bed bath.  I was trying to clean her, and she kept screaming like she was hurt, and telling me not to clean her... until I cleaned her arms then she started talking as if she had an orgasm, and she started smiling and stuff and I was strangely turned on WTF.

Then I was driving up the hill, that looks like Arlington street where my grandpa lived.  There was a stoplight, and the light turned green but the car in front of me stopped.  And for some reason they got out of the car and they were wearing those head coverings... I don't know what you call them (the ones that middle easterners wear) it was a woman and a little boy, and then I heard some announcement which sounded like a middle eastern Hitler, which continued as I went up the hill,  and there was a long line of enslaved people wearing blue turbans and white cloaks walking up the hill.  They looked beat up.  And there were the red turban people, walking with them as if they were the enemy who caught the blue turban people. And the higher I went up the hill, I saw normal people who looked like people I go to school with, and it was like a McDonald's PlayPlace where people were lined up to slide or whatever, but actually at the top should be the leader of the red turban people.

When I reached the top of the hill, there was some kind of Filipino fountain, and my brother told me to park, and he left.  I kept looking for a parking space but couldn't find one, so I went underground somehow and kept going up until I saw that Filipino water fountain.  I don't remember parking though.

And then somehow I landed outside  library, and I was with high school friends and we were thinking of some kind of plan to defeat the red turban people and bring peace to the world.  Then I went in the library alone because they asked me to find an empty table and I saw Frieza and his dad Cooler and I was like "I remember this, Trunks is going to come in and cut him up."  And then I went out the library, came back in, and whatever and I woke up.

Anyways I have a lot to do on Monday.

Reading Partners, Homework, Kaiser, Counselors Appointment.

I can't believe she is only 17:



I feel that I'm in denial that I'm not old.

passed CBEST.

I passed.  I don't feel good about my WRITING score though.  I got a 39 on writing.  The only thought that would make me feel better, is the "I didn't even study for it."  I need 123 points to pass, and I got 140.  Maybe another excuse would be "I slept at 4 the night before the test, and woke up late."  I was playing MapleStory the week of the test, and got my Mechanic to 70 in two days.  LOL. And another excuse.. I haven't had an english class for 3 years, and a math class in 4 years. Yup, I feel better already.

<3

I'm addicted to chess on my Ipod.

I shouldn't feel better about this actually.  I am SO IRRESPONSIBLE.  But whatever.

I thought writing was one of my stronger points. At least its pushing me to do better (I guess) even though I'm always trying to do better.

LOL my writing is so unorganized.  But blogs shouldn't count as writing, right?

documentation beats conversation.

But when you're talking about feelings, documentation and conversation do not apply.

that sidequest.

In games, you know those quests that are just there, but you have to get through them?  And when they're over, you're done with it and there's no going back?

I feel like I'm a sidequest in everyone's life.  For the reason that I don't last forever.  I may talk and reconnect for a moment, but a little while later, it is gone.  I can't believe myself, that I'd think of things like this because I'm not supposed to be a social person.

I'm not supposed to have friends.

These days feel so nostalgic.  Perhaps it is the weather.  It's that weather feeling, this new sun and light that makes me think back to both times where I believed I loved.

Both times I knew I fell hard have the exact same weather sequence, which is mildly hot with a sense of accomplishment and an ending to a life's sidequest, dawning a new quest.  First, was ending a depression phase, and right after, "falling in love".  Second, was ending a depression phase, and right after, "falling in love".

Actually, it wasn't "right after." The depression phase and falling in love phases overlap.  Love was my escape.

And this time, I'm ending a depression phase, hopefully.  But the only quest I see from that distance isn't a new love this time.

It's my career path.  I guess what was holding back my motivation, was the pressures of "love."

I'm leaving my escape behind.

class on Monday.

I have a stupid class on Monday.  WHICH TAKES PLACE DURING MY READING PARTNERS TIME.   Now I have to figure out how to fit in Reading Partners to this schedule.  It's heartbreaking when I feel like I can't teach... I HAVE TO TEACH to keep my sanity.

Yesterday was my mom's 54th birthday.

omfg, I really don't see the point of "small talk" and all that.  JEEZ WHY AM I LIKE THIS.  Why do I feel like getting away once someone is talking to me in something I'm completely uninterested in?  And why can't I tell it to that person straight out like that?  It's so annoying... I'm so annoying.

tutor of the month's progress in maple.

My Mechanic reached lvl 100, three days ago, I think.



CROlX, my Gunslinger reached 70 on Saturday.



Today I reached 164 on my FP.

sparkling city of ruin.

I passed the Reading and the Math section of the CBEST.  Now I'm just waiting for the results of the Writing portion.  I wrote too personal on the writing, and it hurts thinking about it. I thought the feel would be the same as the HESI exam, but this exam actually made me think.

I think I'm missing a few classes even though I completed 73 units.  I should have followed up on why my Psychology teacher gave me no credit when I should have gotten an A and 3 units.  Oh well, doesn't hurt much taking it again, I'd like to relearn some of it anyway since I forgot what I learned.

My Mechanic is level 76.  I really slowed down, it doesn't take long anymore to get to 70.  I got to 70 in 2 days, when it really should have took me 1 day.  A few hours if I was at my prime l0l. I don't know what to do with my FP Mage, I'm leaning towards maxing Infinity.  Fire Demon won't be worth it since I don't have a fire wand.  I don't use Meteor too often either, but I raised it to level 18.  Maple Warrior is just too expensive.  So I guess I'll max Infinity.

Time is going by too fast.  I had a dream that all my high school friends and acquaintances went to the same college as me, and I was happy.   Maybe I miss them.  Nah.

I really feel like I want to stay in school forever.  But when I go so slow, I feel so guilty and rushed.  Try to relax... that's what I should do, follow my best beneficial advice.  I wrote about that as the most beneficial advice someone has given me, on my 2nd essay of the CBEST.

Life has been, whatever. But it's all me! So I'm.. whatever. l0l.

I keep retreating from the thoughts I'm supposed to be thinking.  Supposed to be thinking, meaning my own responsibilities that society has imposed upon me.  I want to be isolated, I want to know what I'm naturally.

I really do belong in the Romantic era l0l.  Stupid stupid stupid ><"

and I blocked search engines.   why the hell am I getting views referenced by search engines?!?!?

My room in terms of mess has been below standards  since the Big Bang patch.

Reality.  Love has been an escape.  Basketball and games has been an escape from love. Story of my life.



Oh yeah, and I've been playing Harvest Moon Back to Nature.  I gave Bold mass Flour presents so now his heart meter is maxed lol. I couldn't get into my new file so I continued the one I played 10 years ago.  Labble and Bello gave birth, I named Labble's daughter Nimbus, and Bello's daughter Ballo!.