that sidequest.

In games, you know those quests that are just there, but you have to get through them?  And when they're over, you're done with it and there's no going back?

I feel like I'm a sidequest in everyone's life.  For the reason that I don't last forever.  I may talk and reconnect for a moment, but a little while later, it is gone.  I can't believe myself, that I'd think of things like this because I'm not supposed to be a social person.

I'm not supposed to have friends.

These days feel so nostalgic.  Perhaps it is the weather.  It's that weather feeling, this new sun and light that makes me think back to both times where I believed I loved.

Both times I knew I fell hard have the exact same weather sequence, which is mildly hot with a sense of accomplishment and an ending to a life's sidequest, dawning a new quest.  First, was ending a depression phase, and right after, "falling in love".  Second, was ending a depression phase, and right after, "falling in love".

Actually, it wasn't "right after." The depression phase and falling in love phases overlap.  Love was my escape.

And this time, I'm ending a depression phase, hopefully.  But the only quest I see from that distance isn't a new love this time.

It's my career path.  I guess what was holding back my motivation, was the pressures of "love."

I'm leaving my escape behind.