that sidequest.

In games, you know those quests that are just there, but you have to get through them?  And when they're over, you're done with it and there's no going back?

I feel like I'm a sidequest in everyone's life.  For the reason that I don't last forever.  I may talk and reconnect for a moment, but a little while later, it is gone.  I can't believe myself, that I'd think of things like this because I'm not supposed to be a social person.

I'm not supposed to have friends.

These days feel so nostalgic.  Perhaps it is the weather.  It's that weather feeling, this new sun and light that makes me think back to both times where I believed I loved.

Both times I knew I fell hard have the exact same weather sequence, which is mildly hot with a sense of accomplishment and an ending to a life's sidequest, dawning a new quest.  First, was ending a depression phase, and right after, "falling in love".  Second, was ending a depression phase, and right after, "falling in love".

Actually, it wasn't "right after." The depression phase and falling in love phases overlap.  Love was my escape.

And this time, I'm ending a depression phase, hopefully.  But the only quest I see from that distance isn't a new love this time.

It's my career path.  I guess what was holding back my motivation, was the pressures of "love."

I'm leaving my escape behind.

class on Monday.

I have a stupid class on Monday.  WHICH TAKES PLACE DURING MY READING PARTNERS TIME.   Now I have to figure out how to fit in Reading Partners to this schedule.  It's heartbreaking when I feel like I can't teach... I HAVE TO TEACH to keep my sanity.

Yesterday was my mom's 54th birthday.

omfg, I really don't see the point of "small talk" and all that.  JEEZ WHY AM I LIKE THIS.  Why do I feel like getting away once someone is talking to me in something I'm completely uninterested in?  And why can't I tell it to that person straight out like that?  It's so annoying... I'm so annoying.

tutor of the month's progress in maple.

My Mechanic reached lvl 100, three days ago, I think.



CROlX, my Gunslinger reached 70 on Saturday.



Today I reached 164 on my FP.

sparkling city of ruin.

I passed the Reading and the Math section of the CBEST.  Now I'm just waiting for the results of the Writing portion.  I wrote too personal on the writing, and it hurts thinking about it. I thought the feel would be the same as the HESI exam, but this exam actually made me think.

I think I'm missing a few classes even though I completed 73 units.  I should have followed up on why my Psychology teacher gave me no credit when I should have gotten an A and 3 units.  Oh well, doesn't hurt much taking it again, I'd like to relearn some of it anyway since I forgot what I learned.

My Mechanic is level 76.  I really slowed down, it doesn't take long anymore to get to 70.  I got to 70 in 2 days, when it really should have took me 1 day.  A few hours if I was at my prime l0l. I don't know what to do with my FP Mage, I'm leaning towards maxing Infinity.  Fire Demon won't be worth it since I don't have a fire wand.  I don't use Meteor too often either, but I raised it to level 18.  Maple Warrior is just too expensive.  So I guess I'll max Infinity.

Time is going by too fast.  I had a dream that all my high school friends and acquaintances went to the same college as me, and I was happy.   Maybe I miss them.  Nah.

I really feel like I want to stay in school forever.  But when I go so slow, I feel so guilty and rushed.  Try to relax... that's what I should do, follow my best beneficial advice.  I wrote about that as the most beneficial advice someone has given me, on my 2nd essay of the CBEST.

Life has been, whatever. But it's all me! So I'm.. whatever. l0l.

I keep retreating from the thoughts I'm supposed to be thinking.  Supposed to be thinking, meaning my own responsibilities that society has imposed upon me.  I want to be isolated, I want to know what I'm naturally.

I really do belong in the Romantic era l0l.  Stupid stupid stupid ><"

and I blocked search engines.   why the hell am I getting views referenced by search engines?!?!?

My room in terms of mess has been below standards  since the Big Bang patch.

Reality.  Love has been an escape.  Basketball and games has been an escape from love. Story of my life.



Oh yeah, and I've been playing Harvest Moon Back to Nature.  I gave Bold mass Flour presents so now his heart meter is maxed lol. I couldn't get into my new file so I continued the one I played 10 years ago.  Labble and Bello gave birth, I named Labble's daughter Nimbus, and Bello's daughter Ballo!.

100

Quasaron reached level 100 a few days ago.

LagWithMePlz reached level 100 a few hours ago.

I love training my Wind Archer.  Too bad he's a guy archer, wished I made it a female.  I would have named her Eklair or Pepperonico if I were to rename her.  Same with my Aran, I wished Eklair was Aranawalk and aranawalk was Eklair, just because I'm playing Aranawalk more since she's higher level and she's blessed with Xeno's Blessing.

Quasaron is running low on Summoning Rocks, so it's getting slightly unmotivating.  I want to play Aranawalk but I want to change her name, but if I make it Eklair I would have to delete my Eklair on Croix's account, and I don't want to because her hair is pretty.  Eklair sounds more like an Evan actually, maybe I'll delete her and make her into an Evan.

I'll have to train Quasaron now to 110 before I can train LagWithMePlz again (LagWithMePlz is Quasaron's Junior's Junior).

My damage really sucks though. Even if I had all the items that I gave away, I wouldn't sell them anyway.  I guess I'll still level fast, just not as fast as others, especially after being through BETA leveling, as well as not training with a Bishop 99.5% of my Maple Story life.

I'll update with pictures later, because the screenshots are on my brother's PC.

I stopped leveling Xeno because some idiots in SW forum who are higher level than Xeno is (Trained with METEOR to their level), don't know anything about FP mages, saying I don't know anything about FP Mages.

Sucks how just because their status show that they are better, should not mean that what they think they know is the truth, than being compared to those who "look" like in a lower status is not true. I feel dumb because I felt annoyed.  I shouldn't feel annoyed at simple things like this... I'm getting old, and nothing should bring me down like them.  I guess I'm just lazy to put the effort into making an argument, so I'm letting it go, but it still hurts me somehow.

This is stupid.

Mechanics are coming out next week as well, I wonder if I should create it on Quasaron's account or Xeno's.  I'm leaning toward's Xeno's though because I want to receive Xeno's blessing, and I want Xeno to receive my Mechanic's blessing since I feel like I'll be active on the Mechanic.

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Things to work on in tutoring:  I keep correcting.  And I should show more appreciation and give positive feedback.

I am an INTJ

http://www.personalitypage.com/html/INTJ.html

http://typelogic.com/intj.html

Reading all this makes me wished I studied for my science classes.

This is where I took the test: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

"When under a great deal of stress, the INTJ may become obsessed with mindless repetitive, Sensate activities, such as over-drinking. They may also tend to become absorbed with minutia and details that they would not normally consider important to their overall goal."

Mindless, repetitive activities.  MAPLESTORY, RPGS, AND SHOOTING HOOPS! HARHARHARHAR.

I find this so true:

"This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness."

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Anyways, I just came back from San Diego.  I met my new cousin, Jed Angelo... I'll post some pictures when I get the motivation.

163

Reached level 163 today, and I passed both Big Bang 20 and 30!  For the first tries too... Big Bang 20 for 25M and Big Bang 30 for 10M.  I bought 2 Big Bang 30s for 10M each thinking one would fail.

Staying at Qualm Guardians even though there are remnants that signify a hacker has been in the map 50% of the time.  It's weird because the loot is all in a column on each of the 3 rows (excluding the top left on the map).

162

My FP Mage reached level 162!

Wonder why it says my ranking went down though... whatever!

I want to get to 170 and maybe I'll stop leveling for good, but for now, whenever I play I'll be leveling.

CBEST test on the 22nd.