daily rituals.

Wake up, and shoot some hoops.

Prepare for school.

Scales, sightread.

Then school!  I shouldn't turn on my PC... well, maybe to blog if I don't feel like wasting any paper.  I finally got my answer to the paper problem I've been wondering about for a long time.  How can saving paper save trees when the paper is already made from the tree?  With paper consumed as it is now, the supply for paper will remain constant, thus halting the rapid production of an excess of paper.  Not using paper will keep the supply relatively high, thus companies will not make as much, as it won't be as cost efficient for them to spend money only to have extra paper. Therefore trees will be saved by its low demand.

So let's save paper!  And use our carbon emitting PCs to do our dirty work. It's better than trees being cut down to release so much  though. Hm, but one blog page handwritten is like 1/100000 of a tree.  I wonder what the carbon emitting proportions would be for each typed thing to be handwritten compared to how long the PC releasing carbon to type the thing.

Way to get off topic again.

And Tiana Xiao's intelligence is so sexy.

I swear I have ADHD. It's not my surroundings though, it's my own friggin head, so at least  I have a slight resistance to solitary confinement!

I keep getting mad and frustrated at home.

But at least I keep silent.  I don’t know, do I need more calcium?  Do I need friends?  What’s missing… sure not everyone will not piss me off, but this is just crazy.  I get mad at the smallest things, and I don’t want to get mad at the smallest things.   I want to be calm with that neutral expression all the time.  Sigh.  What do I have to train myself to do to have no emotions?  Watch shows that kill people over and over?  Then what if I turn into a killer?  I look calm, but I am not calm.

My Professor in Critical Thinking answered my question!  It was the one about what he thinks about the quote; “Ignorance is bliss” , which is actually from “Where ignorance is bliss, ‘Tis folly to be wise.”  I did not get everything he said down, though I did capture something about hiding from the truth when you know it’s there.  He asked rhetorically “only in fantasy can make you happy?”  No matter how much we hide from it, it’s there when you know it.  I like how he connected it to individual humans rather than the world tied up together.  There was much more that he said about it… I’ll ask him about cynical people next time the class has an opportunity to ask a question in the 1 minute papers.

bad day. maybe tomorrow.

My piano teacher said that I'm a waste of existence because I'm not doing sight reading properly... in front of that one girl.

And we turned back from Downer because I felt like I would be a stranger with no college ID.

Bad day.

But playing basketball made it all better.  I feel like I'm good at something when I swish all my shots.  My shooting accuracy isn't 100% though, it's like 60-70%.  80% if I concentrate probably.

I shall add a reminder that Mew is available through Pokemon.com this Friday.

And I'm typing another sentence here so I won't skip the bold.

The days not over yet, I have a lot of work to do.

Why do I have to be so sensitive? =_=

At least I don't show it lol

Cheerio.

i gots a keyboard...

In my room!  Lightly nifty.  Picture soon, after my camera is finished chargin!  R-Blade!



It's right next to my PC so I can practice my scales and SR while I wait until my PC finishes it's favorite activity; lagging, which is fairly often.  And I like it!

Anyways, I don't want the hero to be cynical anymore.  There will be a cynical character, but he won't be the main.  I guess it'll be more like an FFVI with no mains, or a switch in the middle of the story... like a Terra to Celes.  Or a switch in between like a Squall and Laguna.  Or Felt and Vesse. Whatever! I'm falling in love with my character creations though lol, I don't want them to die.

If my ear gets any worse, I'm blaming it on Dr. Johnson.

Going to head down to Downer tomorrow... hope I get the job!  And I hope I'll be a good group leader.  Just gotta talk loud, coz I'm in charge this time!

Oh, and I perfected my Critical Thinking quiz.  I REALLY thought I'd miss one, because I wrote "a premise" but afterwords I knew it should have been "a premise or more".  WHEW.  Why am I so satisfied with getting a good grade?  I guess it's the same as someone judging me, like getting a "you're cool!".  g'awww thank you! But no thanks, coz even though praise may feel good, I'll only grow with critical disagreement responses, so BRING IT ON!!! But it's done, and I got a perfect score.  Must.  Fight this selfishness of getting a good score, because why should I be happy when there are children in Africa being starved at this very moment... child abuse in a corner in Richmond, depressed children... neglected children... GRAAAH. It sucks because I can do something about this, and hopefully I won't make it worse.

And Professor Ampim said that the best way to prevent a divorce is to not get married lol.  I think at his level, Dr. Dang, Ledbetter, Barnes, OMG so many great professors... they are the ideal teachers to be.  I am glad I am or took their class to experience their godliness.

Excuse my optimism.  I must gradually make my mood transition to elementary school teacher, excited for learning... how I think this optimism acting is best suited for the job.

jrpgs.

rpgs finished:  Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy II, Final Fantasy IV, Final Fantasy VI, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy IX, Chrono Trigger, Chrono Cross, Super Mario RPG, Paper Mario, Legend of Mana, Sword of Mana, Golden Sun, Golden Sun The Lost Age, Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts II, Atelier Iris Eternal Mana, Atelier Iris 2 Azoth of Destiny, Atelier Iris 3 Grand Phantasm, Mana Khemia, Mana Khemia 2, Ar Tonelico, Ar Tonelico 2, Persona 3: FES, Persona 4, Xenosaga Episode 1, Xenosaga Episode 2, Xenosaga Episode 3, La Pucelle, Pokemon Red, Pokemon Silver, Pokemon Crystal, Pokemon Sapphire, Pokemon Diamond, Pokemon Platinum, Pokemon SoulSilver, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team.

not completed, but over 50%:  Dragon Quest VIII, Final Fantasy V, Final Fantasy VIII,  Final Fantasy XII, Lufia 2, Grandia, The World Ends With You, Lunar: Dragon Song, Harvest Moon: Back to Nature.

own: Samurai Legend Musashi, Evolution, Evolution 2, Timestalkers, Skies of Arcadia, Grandia 2, Phantom Brave, Okage, Dragon Warrior Monsters Tara's Adventure.

started out, with only a few hours in:  Star Ocean III, Final Fantasy X, Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga.

have access to:  Suikoden III, Suikoden IV, Suikoden Tetris w/e, Grandia III, Grandia Xtreme, Wild Arms II, Wild Arms III, Wild Arms IV, Dark Cloud, Dark Cloud 2, Devil Summoner 2, Final Fantasy X-2, Final Fantasy Tactics, Legend of Dragoon, Brave Fencer Musashi, Disgaea, Chaos Wars, Nightmare of Druaga, Breath of Fire V, Romancing Saga, Unlimited Saga, Dragon Quest, Dragon Quest II, Dragon Quest III, Dragon Quest IV, Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones.

want:  Shadow Hearts, Digital Devil Saga, Xenogears, Parasite Eve.

need to focus. and think about the future.

Obsessed with Lufia 2.

Playing FFX.

Stuck on Adel on FFVIII.  I keep killing Rinoa.

Failed Exotic Ethic.

Had 2 chances, but missed them.  First chance, I didn't recognize her LOL.  Second, I was passed back a paper when she was passing by me and I was embarrassed of my -30 LOL.

Piano is fun.

Oklahoma VS Miami was a disappoint. Wade wasn't even playing and they still lost... but maybe it would be different if the starters played most of the time.  Oh well.  These rookies are unpredictable.

That is all.

another...

unproductive day! LOL

Man Phoenix Suns... they need a big guy.

Boston's line up is crazy.

jaskdl;fj!

I've been looking at other people's blogs.  Those people that are my age.  I am getting so old!

feel like rereading harry potter.

And I feel like writing my own story.  I'll treat it like my child, and that I would add gradually to how I feel and such, except right now it's been lined up as an RPG game with the music and boss battles... and characters that look like advertisements.

EDIT.

Main character's name is Deske.  I thought of the name while I was sitting down in a chair in the library, and a desk happens to be in front of me. So, it's Deske!

He's going to be really cynical.

And he falls in love with this music major.  Forgot her name though.. was it like Leena?  Anyways she really hates the world, and she's a whore.  And then events happen, and they join a party of people of different majors, and that music major girl happens to be part of this opposing organization, as she was a spy all along.  And near the end she is revealed to be God.

Deske:  ILY

Leena:  Why?

Deske: It's a feeling, stupid.  IDK why.

And then we'll shift to... forgot what I named the other guy.  Hmm, how about Boss.

Boss: ILY

Girl he lieks:  Why?

Boss: *lists all things why he loves her*

Girl: *REJECTS*

Yeah, it's the same story as the one a few months ago, just changing stuff up, line up ideas, and then start writing!

I want their names to be something google don't have much results for.

Mystery.  Action.  Romance.

empty shell?

Regardless of this bad day, I feel so motivated.

And I realized that I don't have opinions.  I know I have some deep down, but there are some that I truly don't wish to express.

This weekend I need to:

Practice Piano

Dermatologist appointment

Write down Oral Speech for History

Read Gov ch 6 and ch5 on California today

Think of a  topic that I have an opinion on

Review Arguments

Think of when I'm going to visit elementary schools: 1. Fairmont, 2. Woodrow Wilson, 3. Mira Vista.  And think of questions I may have to ask Professor Gottesman.

Think of what to wear for that 3 o'clock thing because she will be there. And I have to say hi. LOL

-

It's happening to me again.  I have this REALLY heavy crush.  omfg. But it's going to push me to work hard in school, and the result will make my parents happier! So it's a positive thing either way I guess. I don't know, I'll feel like I'm living though.