You know that question all questions eventually lead to? The purpose of why we are here? Why are we here, why did we end up here, and why am I living?
Now, I really think that even if there is a true answer, it just wouldn't be accepted. Or more like, human nature and humans would just reject that idea. That's why I think this is just beyond human comprehension... I think if there even was a solid answer for that philosophical question, I really think I would reject it. I would refuse to believe that life is that simple, even though it probably is, and knowing that it probably is that simple makes life really simple...
I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. Everything is all chemical reactions in our body, right? Where does the soul come from then? Why is science like this? I'm starting to believe in fate even though it just doesn't look right... I can't really do anything like this. Because if I believe in fate, I wouldn't know what to do, and that's what I'm starting to do...
I just don't care. I just don't care. Or I try not to. Everything that I wanted to believe in just isn't coming true... my beliefs that I grew up with were never true... there's just so much disappointments in the beliefs I grew up with. About love, about being nice to people, how accidents happen... there's just something so wrong... living in general. Self disappointments. So much things that I emotionally do not approve of goes on in the background, like decapitations and organisms being run over by fucking buses.
There's just something wrong but maybe we're not supposed to have a steady emotions in the first place? I've always thought that we live to feel good but how can we if there's just so much shit?
It's just something I shouldn't think of... it's just bothering me though. I even googled "How to Be Emotionally Detached" and now I'm reading about it.
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