OMFG

I actually said something to her (CPG- cute piano girl)!

But it was because she dropped something.

And I picked it up.  I didn't know it was hers, til I saw her looking around her spot for something.  And I said "is this yours?" and she said "thanks!"  But she didn't look at me.  BUT I SAW HER FACE.  Her smile is so friggin cute, and then she asked a cute question to the teacher as well, but she sounds so motivated and serious oamsdklfjasJ:LJ:LJ!!  I'm beginning to think that she's older than me, but she probably isn't.

I really can't tell how old she is, or if she has a BF, but it looks like she does coz she's so friggin cute and focused and whatever.  And she's wearing neutral colors like gray and black and flkajsdfjkl;sdjlfj! !! INfatuationN.  WHY DIDN'T SHE LOOK AT ME.  and why do I feel like I'm talking so girly.

I must disappoint myself now.  She didn't look at me because I'm ugly.  She saw how stupid I can act.  She goes to class fast to get away from me.  Yup, that must be it.  She will never be my friend, because friends are of less importance to her, especially during these times.  That's why she's usually alone.

But what if she's like me? And if she is like me... ugh it's hard to disappoint myself when I don't know much about her.  I'm excited to see her on Thursday (in class).  I have to say hi... before I make another regret, and get a quick "I hate myself" spasm at a random time in the future.

I'm having trouble in Reading Partners... I have trouble holding back my anger, but I held it in!  I wanted to yell, but I can't do that.  It was his second day at RP, and I want it to be fun, not frustrating. Hmm... thnk think think.  But when I start any kind of thinking, I think of CPG!

I guess everyone needs someone to confirm if something is right.  To relate, and to feel good about something, we need others to confirm it is right.  We do things to feel good about ourselves...ksdfj;s geting sleepy.

15k steps today and counting.  Have you ever been mellowww.