talking. shy/quiet people pride!

I dislike having two entries in one day, so maybe when I'm done with this, I'll edit my new years resolutions post to be on January 1st, 2010.

I don't know why I'm not good at talking, and I think back to when I did talk a lot... and as I remember it, I don't talk much.  People know I don't talk much.  I'm more of an action kind of person, who does stuff, and who says random things.  When I talk, I want to make people smile.  I want them to do something.  I want to say something useful.  I don't like sounding like a whiny person.  And when I do say stuff like that, its probably because there's an awkward silence, and I really don't know what to say, or what's appropriate to say.  Edit later.  This will be really long lol (note to self: past, talking quiet, getting what I want w/o talking, talking awkward feeling good not saying anything, what I did talk about, reason-questioning- pride, attention, thoughts and saying words-tho not agreeing=hypocrite?, now sexy silence, what if they like the silence and being silent isn't who I am, be myself show myself pros and cons, it'll be hard to open up... sorta like my outline.  Too lazy to write anything coz I'm feeling tired and sleepy ugh but I want to!)

Wow, long outline.  I keep going to bed, and then thinking about this, and then going back and editing to put stuff so I'll remember it so I won't forget later.

mood: lethargic