tbh

If people don't say "to be honest" does that mean they are lying.

The only reason why I go online is to stalk her...

I am so creepy.

Sylvia Plath uses a lot of adverbs in her diary... but then again, she's only writing for herself.  Like what I am supposed to be doing.

I also watched Ratatouille.  The scene with all the hanged rats disturbed me so much, and it is because of that scene that I may never want to watch that movie again.  I thought the movie was fantastic though.

I went to church today.

The opening song was on page 666.

On second thought, I have no one.  If the now matters, there is no one now, nor is there anyone in the future.

The friends I now think I have were all in the past.

I thought I was going to die when I was in college.  Since I've finished, and I haven't died, my future is screwed.

Because I am not dead now.

Unless I can make myself dead... ha... ha... ha.

Enough with this "in the real world" shit.  Stop saying whatever you're saying is the real world.  You're just talking about capitalism and being a slave to money.  That is no way associated with "the real world." So shut the fuck up.

...I wish I was never exposed to the Dobe Joansi, Hopi Indians, thoughts of death, genetics, and modern entertainment.

When I try to reason with everything, I try to neglect my emotions as much as possible, and doing that makes me go crazy.

Is it because doing what's "right" and within reason is satisfying an external emotion?  Like another way of caring about others.  Reasoning is about caring about others other than yourself?

Or am I going crazy because it is entirely impossible to change perception?  Everything I see, and everything I do, is all about me, and how it relates to me, and I can't change it no matter what because I am me anyways?

I can't understand people. I think the only thing I can do is relate to them... even though they will never relate to me.

?!?!?!

I really can't put my thoughts into words.

What about this?

Life is a competition, with predetermined results.