Oh fuck, I think I get it now.

I was "pushing" her when she was saying that "you know how it feels" thing.  I was like, "but what about how I feel... do you know what it's like to be in love."  AND from that she probably thought I was pushing her BUT WHAT I REALLY WANTED was a proper rejection like what everyone else gets.

But I did not say that.  I am forgetting all the important stuff, thinking she knows how I think.  She does not know how I think at all.  Fuck.  Damn it.  Now I need to tell her this.

DAMNIT. THIS IS WHY WE NEED TO TALK FACE TO FACE.  OR IN PERSON. OR EVEN  INSTANT MESSAGING.

FUCK.  In the first place, I never wanted her to know that I liked her a lot.  Fucking blog footprints man.

I was so happy when I woke up, finding the house shaking.

And then it was done.  And I was sad. And sleepy and hot.

I wonder if we can be friends again if I am in a serious relationship with someone else...

Ah I think I found the answer...

I should always remember she wanted a BMW at one point.

Maybe I can get over her if I keep thinking that.  BMW drivers are... Lol.

I think I'll just wait.  I will know when it is over when there is concrete proof that she is in a relationship already.

Ugh can't stop stalking.

I feel that there's so much more that I have to say... and there's more that she has to say as well.

But...

It's just a feeling.  It's all in my head.

In reality, it's over.

Disrespect?!??!

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!

HOW.  The.  FUCK.  Did.  I.  DISRESPECT YOU?!?!?!

You fucking taunt me that you like some other guy.  You FUCKING IGNORE ME.  YOU DID NOT TRY ANYTHING.  ANY FUCKING THING.  AT FUCKING ALL.  TO SALVAGE THE FRIENDSHIP.

AND YOU GO AROUND SAYING.. FRIENDS, and how you like having FRIENDS, and having your name BASED ON FRIENDSHIP?  FUCKING.  HYPOCRITE.  GTFO, OUT OF LIFE.

Disrespect?!?!?!

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!

HOLY.  FUCKING.  FUCK.

Sure I got mad at you.

YOU FUCKING DESERVED IT.  YOU WERE FUCKING ASKING FOR IT.  TELLING HOW YOU LIKE MEAN GUYS.  AND DID YOU LIKE BEING MEAN TO?!?!?!  Fucking IGNORANT IDIOT.  SEVERELY.  SOCIALLY INEPT.  ASSHOLE. THIS.  BITCH.  THIS FUCKING BITCH.

Holy.  FUCKING.  HELL. I'm going INSANE.

Holy fuck I think I am more mad at myself for believing this bitch.  Holy fuck am I this lonely?  Out of everyone I fell for I fell for a fucking bitch?  A socially inept asshole hypocritical one too?  Only thing I can do is laugh...

I am tired.

I feel worse than before