01/23/2016
xenosbioz
Jess, so sorry, I know you told me to not contact you any further but I'm thinking why should I listen to you if you don't listen to me... I'm feeling sick and I think I know how you feel now... but after this I think I'll clear up misunderstandings that I think I have, and I'm so sorry... really do believe I can move on after I send you this one though, and I'm so sorry, I think I figured it out, that I'm forcing you to talk to me. Sorry about that, it's because I suck at talking... You probably think I'm overexaggerating, but you really are the best, that's why I can't move on... It always goes back to when you stopped talking to me... I get super paranoid and angsty and nervous when the person I like is with other people and I always think the worse... I'll make the assumption that I think you actually had a tiny bit of feelings for me... it's dumb, but right after the message in 2014, the part when you finally did message me, saying "I've moved on". Moved on from what? It doesn't make sense, it wouldn't take effort to move on if you didn't care, which means you did care. I'm so sorry. And then there's the post in this blog, your first post about not knowing what to do and that "It hurts you a lot." I'm making the assumption that it's about me... because the day right after you posted that, you changed your profile picture on your Mia Nora Facebook account, meaning you probably saw my friend request.... You did care, and you were hurt. And it might be the same kind of hurt that's hurting me right now... I guess I really am a possessive person... I thought I can even it up, and show you that I'm not calm, on my Tumblr, when I talked about that other girl I met, but I didn't feel anything for her at all. I wanted you to press me on it. I think I wrote that she told me I smiled a lot. But in actuality I was smiling because I was writing a poem for your birthday and it makes me smile thinking about you, I wanted you to press me on it so I could tell you. I would also talk to her about you, later on while hanging out with her (she was just my study buddy though, and we got along but I have always been thinking of you, and I sorta used her to fulfill the purpose of showing you that I am capable of not "being calm" on my Tumblr posts, because I felt that's the only way I could convey "not calm" feelings to you.) She wanted to hook me up with other girls I'm like no, I'm kinda talking to someone I really like, but she hasn't talk to me for three months (i'm talking about you, this is three months after we stopped talking)" and she's like oh don't cry because I was going to cry. It bothers me, you probably think I'm one of those people but I'm not, it's always been you, ever since we talk, even before I found out about our double compatibility horoscopes. We hung out, going to Safeway and stuff for our project and the girl even said "She's missing out." Maybe that's why I'm holding on too... I know you'd like me if we met, and that you're missing out... I thought it was okay to write dumb stuff like that, because you didn't like me, you told me you had a little crush on your Biggie and you were crying when I finally did talk to you, and it showed that you didn't like me because you didn't touch your hair or anything, you were just crying because you felt dumped by the WhiteGuy, and I was probably weird because I was using the wrong Mic, and it caught me off guard, and the first thought I thought of was that you really did like the WhiteGuy and you had no feelings at all for me but the more I think about it, you were just crying because it was your 18th birthday and you didn't have a gatillion big party like all other filipino girls. I know you probably dind't have any feelings for me, but it still annoyed you when I talked differently, sorry, I was so mad because when you talked about WhiteGuy to Ron, you said "sorry Ron", but you didn't say "Sorry Jason." I felt hurt, you didn't take my feelings into consideration...
But again, how else can I show you that I can be not calm?" When you were talking about Soulmates, and I was like "what about me?" You said I was "too calm"... Also did not want you to think I never cared... I valued our friendship more than a relationship relationship... and then said I was too calm.. and I wanted you to like me back, but I value our friendship more than that. I did not think that it would be annoying to show you that I can move on, but it came out annoying and I can see that now. Thought that me liking you was the cause of you not talking to me anymore... and you'd talk to me again if I showed you that I moved on... but you didn't. It only makes sense if you actually did like me. I really wanted you to press me on it, and just talk to me, but I also wanted to even it up, since you already hurt me with White Guy and Biggie, and also I thought you'd like it because of you being a Libra who values fairness. I thought it would even things up, I like another girl, you like your Biggie. It bothered me a lot, you leaving me for your League of Legend friends... not only did I stalk your Tumblr, I stalk everywhere, saw a lot of things I wasn't supposed to see, and I'm also writing this because I saw something I wasn't supposed to see, but I'll get into that last... In March 2013 when you started blogging again, I was broken.. because you wrote a post saying that you think you like this guy... I'm also going to assume that it's me, because right after I spammed you with messages you wrote a post about trying to get over this guy... at the time though I thought it was the 78benana guy or killerxchris guy because you're always together... I stalked you on Lolking and I still did... I will get into that a bit after... Anyways, after a few months, and after I knew I was being tracked, I limited myself, though I did add you to my Feedly... I'd only stalk you at 11;11 and 1:43 to communicate you through code since I didn't think I can directly talk to you (11:11 meant me wishing you'd talk to me, and 1:43 because 143 means I love you)... Tomogo: http://www.supercounters.com/visitor/584283 hinamina: http://www.supercounters.com/visitor/757234 (I was Winchester/AlisoViejo stalker, my brother lived in SoCal for a year and I visited him like every other month, I got really angsty around this time because I was physically so close to where you were but I couldn't do anything...). At the time I was still stubborn, I had no information about what was going on at all, so I still thought the reason was that I was too calm, and I put the "you like mean guys" ideas together, so I consciously wrote you that angry hate message, and I'm so sorry.. I think it caused you to delete your Tumblr and made you sad, and I'm so sorry... I didn't mean that, I just didn't want to be forgotten either because I'm trying to get over you too and I wanted to mean something to you, and nothing was reaching you... really thought you'd be okay if I was mean, I really wanted to be liked by you still.
And the thing I wasn't supposed to see... I know you've been duoQing with the Quintar's friend guy for a year and you met in person, and it broke me. I think, after seeing you and him together I can move on now, because it hurt me a lot, but then again it still says Single on his profile... and that he's a Capricorn and Rooster, which is the worst match for a Libra Dog... I was reading about Primal Astrology, I know it's really dumb, but basically it combines both eastern and western signs and your sign in particular is the best match for me, the Libra Dog, and it's dumb and it's not the reason why I'm writing this... I'm so broken right now and I'm so sorry, but it annoys me to think that you think that I didn't like you, or love you consistently because, I did... really thought I was perfect for you too because I think I could get along with your family too, since I'm Filipino I can just bless everyone, be respectful, wash dishes, play basketball, and I'm lightskinned and handsome ... I'm so sorry but I think I can move on now after sorting everything out like this... I'm so sorry it's my fault.... sorry for Liking your posts too, I just can't get over it, I'm literally like paralyzed... So that's all, I think I know how you felt... you moved on now though, thinking about you with the Diamond guy and driving down to disgusting Vegas of all places should push me to move on, that's all, sorry again.I'm also slightly offended that you downgraded...I was so obsessed and stalkerish, moreso after you blocked me because I had to communicate with you and I loved you and I dind't know what was going on... I'm so sorry.... I don't want to like a girl who's involved with someone else now... the last girl I liked (who was online also) before you, the one I probably kept mentioning, already had a boyfriend, and she was forcing me to talk to her and eventually I burnt out and stopped everything. I don't like being played like that. Anyways I think this is it now since I got into the detail... I remember trying you talk to you before, but knowing that I suck at talking I would have messed it up. I'm more of a listener... and yeah, sorry, I need to move on I think I'm starting to annoy Steph about this, and I'm so sorry. I think this is the reason why I want to end it, so I don't have to annoy Steph about my situation anymore because it hurts talking to her (she responds like a rock)... I love you so much you have no idea, I would do anything for you... or at least, I'm so addicted to stalking you? Idk, I wanted to end up with you so bad, but I wanted to be your friend above all... didn't want to confess to you until I met you, but the stalking you everyday gave it away so I felt coerced to just tell you straight out... really didn't want that to happen and I'm so sorry... stalking isn't fun, hurts more than anything because i see you with other ppl You never given me the chance to say it, it was always you ending our "message conversations" by you either telling me to not contact you anymore, or just running away from me, or saying something like "respond by 12!" when it would take me much longer to type a response before twelve hit, but now I can end this by saying it myself, so bye... (just one last request though, just say "got it" or "." or something, so I know you received my message or I might go crazy and spam with random anxiety stuff in my head, and I also know you speedread, but please don't speed read this one and read it slowly... if you read it then thank you so much and I'm glad that I loved you of all ppl )
01/27/2016
xenosbioz
.__________.
01/27/2016
xenosbioz
im going to stop liking ur posts... but please dont think i'm going to forget you....
xenosbioz
actually nvm
xenosbioz
sorry
01/30/2016
xenosbioz
ah so sorry this is so dumb i need to stop ... you're the hardest person i ever tried to move on from ever... dont do anything, so sorry
xenosbioz
i bet you're voting donald trump... i think it'll be easier to move on if i imagine you voting for trump
xenosbioz
btw this thing scrolls up to 1/23/26, i really need you to read what i had to say... for my own sake! so i can be at peace knowing that you know
er 1/23/16*
01/31/2016
xenosbioz
im so sorry Jess i just believed that we were really good friends
sorry i need to stop...
01/31/2016
xenosbioz
im sober btw...(i dont drink)
xenosbioz
so im always sober like.. unless my anxiety takes over so sorry...
xenosbioz
... really wish i could delete what i just said
01/31/2016
xenosbioz
i remember you saying "what dont you understand".. i dont understand anything.. friends are supposed to talk it out... maybe thats why u lose all ur friends
xenosbioz
it doesn't make sense
xenosbioz
you also said "I hope you can eventually find peace and come to closure with this." but i can't come to a closure, you're not hoping at all, it's like you don't mean anything you say
i don't get it
01/31/2016
xenosbioz
Yep... Really regret writing all this sorry
xenosbioz
at least i didn't say that i cry every night
............
01/31/2016
xenosbioz
until everything makes sense to me ill imagine u as a donald trump supporter...
01/31/2016
xenosbioz
ah im so sorry this is really dumb.. so sorry...
01/31/2016
xenosbioz
I bet your just laughing at me and sharing it with all ur friends too
xenosbioz
U did that to eddie so thru out this whole mess i refused to show any vulerability
01/31/2016
xenosbioz
so sorry for sounding so aggressive like this whole time... just didn't want to be laughed at like eddie
02/01/2016
xenosbioz
also need to say thank you bcoz u didn't block me yet i think... so thank you so much again
02/02/2016
xenosbioz
Btw i love bernie sanders... Been waiting for so long for someone like him... Ill hate the american public even more if he doesnt win... His character moves me
02/03/2016
xenosbioz sent a photo
Acchan looking at u to be her driver
02/04/2016
xenosbioz
ya...nvm this is gross.. caesar's palace and ive been holding on for 4 years i feel fking disgusting... but this is what happens when u dont talk anything out...the other party gets anxious af .... its so dumb... im so sorry for myself... what did i do, fking nothing, all i ever did was fall in love with u and went crazy and that was all
xenosbioz
thought i found a really good friend worth hanging on to but i lost so much more FUCK YOU
xenosbioz
knew i should have never talked to you, knew you were the flirty type and type who falls easily like to the white guy who didn't even look at you, didn't even know how you looked like since you sat BEHIND him
xenosbioz
the guy looks like he has type 2 diabetes and a kissy lip disorder... GL taking care of dialysis patient... bet his robotic smiling ass his happy you'll give him a ticket to the U.S.
xenosbioz
im gonna assume u have APD... so im going to hold on a bit longer... i dont regret anything i said though because its exactly how i feel
xenosbioz
but i guess having a lack of suppressive function should be embarrassing
xenosbioz
im giving up after 2 weeks and its not because i dont like you.. i just dont want to hate myself anymore...
xenosbioz
ur probably telling everyone about how crazy i am and that im talking to no one... but i do think you're there, or at least you visit once in awhile... i think you deleted ur ebay post like a week or two ago...
xenosbioz
maybe im holding on because i keep rereading your old blogs....
back in 2012 u wrote "Ever since a young age I've always been the sort of odd person out, so to say. I'd find it hard to connect with other people. Keeping a person entertained or making conversation is hard for me to do.. And because of that people would end up leaving me for others and it made me feel bad, like I've done something wrong. Maybe it's because I don't share the same interests as most people? I don't really know. But once I find a person I want to be friends with, I try to stay attached to them and hope they would feel the same. Once they leave.. I put the blame all on myself thinking, "why didn't I do this or do that", "am I really that bad of a friend?", or maybe "what can I do to make them want to be with me again?". I feel like I need to live up to a persons standard in order for them to like me and it's hard. I want people to accept me for who I am and still want to be my friend even if I am a boring loser who has barely has any interests besides playing on the computer and dress up games. I want someone that tries to bring me out of my shell and do other things with me. I'm selfish.. yep.. Sometimes I get jealous of my friends who have an easy time socializing."
xenosbioz
Also saved this from 2013... when you were still tomogo.. "Or how horrible I feel when I think about how my old friends are gone living their life without me. Or how I’m playing this without my sister by me. I just feel trapped by the past." you were referring to vmk btw... wanted to show you what a friend who can't live a life without you is like
so idgaf if you think im creepy as long as you realized this im ok and i think ill be able to move on
xenosbioz
i liked you a lot because you remind me of me btw... you're like the female version of me... and i want to love myself forever and ever .. F3
xenosbioz
sorry this is dumb, im in no position to say any of this bcoz u told me to not contact u anymore... just can't help it though, i think talking it out is necessary for me to move on, u want me to move on right...
xenosbioz
anyways sorry for losing it earlier... i get so jealous, especially with ppl who get to talk to you everyday... i think i lost it a couple of times because i'd see you playing games with those ppl and ignoring me... i think i understand u a little bit better though... i know what makes u kinda angry and i wont do/tell/joke about those things
but none of it matters if im moving on soon....
sorry again... I still dont understand anything
02/04/2016
xenosbioz
Idk how u two r compatible... I could imagine him being robotically nice and boring though
xenosbioz
Id be okay if u were with hammy... But this guy!?!? Ewww!
xenosbioz
Tho im a bit biases coz hammy complimented my maplestory cs equps
Btw im typing on an ipad .. Its hard
02/04/2016
xenosbioz
Sorry shouldnt have said any of this... I noticed i get real aggressive when im jealous so sorry.....
xenosbioz
Sorry jess i regret everything
xenosbioz
Nvm i dont... Im in like desperation mode... Miss u so much u dont understand
Idk how to act anymore
Cant sleep
02/04/2016
xenosbioz
sorry aabout everything... saw something i wasn't supposed to again...
02/04/2016
xenosbioz
sorry jess again, but i'll try moving on in two weeks if the guy's relationship status thing on fb changes to in a relationship i think i'll know its u... i wanted to hang on forever but this is kinda too much for me...
02/04/2016
xenosbioz
Sorry again... Didnt sleep at all last night but i still like you a lot..
xenosbioz
Gross caesars palace...
So sorry......
xenosbioz
So sorry only way to alleviate this anxiety thing is to message u... Im so sorry jess
02/04/2016
xenosbioz
ok i just got a little rest, and this is so embarrassing, sorry, and pretend you didn't see any of this... sorry. I will resume Liking all your posts though
02/04/2016
xenosbioz
omg Jess I'm so sorry, I panic'd, don't mind me please
xenosbioz
ya nvm sorry o-o
xenosbioz
sorry jess i'm supposed to be a friend first before anything else... you used to tell me so many things and it made me feel so good about myself
xenosbioz
naturally i'd fall for you and then just suppress it and never show you because they're dumb feelings
so sorry again you told me to not contact you but im contacting you....
but you say things that dont add up though...
you said you wouldn't make another tumblr...
and i found your new one... i really thoguht you weren't going to make a new one
i was so happy when i found you
but its so dumb im so sorry
xenosbioz
im not supposed to be doing this
but i can't help it i miss you so much
i really think i hurt you now though and it wasn't just me being annoying and finding your tumblr...
i think it makes me even more sad that it's a complete misunderstanding... im so sorry
xenosbioz
i won't be annoying if we ever do become friends again though...
it'll probably be like the times you pre-blocked me
when i would try talking to you after a week and you not responding
like right now actually...
xenosbioz
imso sorry though... hope you read between the lines and stuff when im saying things that dont make sense... or at least ask me to make it clearer... if you want* .. you'll always be my favorite person... i think i was at a point where i didn't care what i said to you because you would still be my favorite person no matter what happens
sorry again idk what im saying anymore and i need to sleep
xenosbioz
migt miss the democratic debate though... idk if you care about that stuff anymore though...
when i Like a post it just means i miss you so much everyday... sorry
02/04/2016
xenosbioz
Im so sorry this is making u uncomfortable sorry ill stop
02/05/2016
xenosbioz
nvm i keep thinking about what you said... that it makes you feel a bit special when ppl who you just brush off try to talk to you.. so that's what ill do ok, and its not creepy bcoz im cute, i think stalking is ok as long as the stalker is cute.............
i calmed down a bit from yesterday... im sorry
im sure you're doing ok with ur new friend and all though... much better than me
tbh my friends are really boring..
i think they wouldn't be boring if i didn't meet you tho... u set the bar too high
xenosbioz
i think its creepier if i dont talk... so ill just talk
nvm what i said about you reading what im saying though... i think ur actually really busy with school and stuff....
xenosbioz
i'd be okay if you read everything i said though... only coz i hope u appreciate honesty as much as i do........
idk what im saying coz im having a one person talk thing so nvm nvm nvmmmm talking definitely only works with 2 ppl...
xenosbioz
You know what... I should have continued stalking u on that summer of 2013... Think i was holding back hoping you would actually talk to me and if not try again on your birthday... I should have not waited til ur bday and try to fix things right away... I think u were sad that summer... If i had talk to u then u wouldnt have much to lose.... Now that ur happy i feel kinda bad coz i think im plaayng a part in ruining ur happiness.... But w/e
02/05/2016
xenosbioz sent a photohttp://zignote.com/Y_Sayaka_Ch
Look its sayanee sitting down waiting for u to talk to me...
xenosbioz sent a photo
Sayanee with hands on her hips coz she mad at u but smiling coz she happy to c u
02/05/2016
xenosbioz
Wait i think i talked bad about my boring friends... theyre just boring but i love them
xenosbioz
Not as much as u tho......
If i move on can we b friends again?
xenosbioz
Ah i think i also forgot to add that i thought i was going to lose u to your irl friends and stuff, wanted to protect myself from that... Turns out you just play leagueoflegend on weekends and i was worried about nothing.. Meant that i could still have been your friend..
02/05/2016
xenosbioz
Ah it hurts... Think i know how u felt now.... It strangely makes me want to study and work really hard tho ....
xenosbioz
Im sorry Jess
xenosbioz
Actually nvm its the same feeling as that other time... Its been like 3 years or so, so i forgot what it felt like
So i am just reminded of it
xenosbioz sent a photoset
Sorry this is awkward... I will stall with more sayanee...
02/05/2016
xenosbioz
Nvm everything... Sorry ill just go
xenosbioz
It doesnt say single anymore... I dont want to interfere with ur relationship .. I would if i knew u werent serious about these things tho... So one last sorry., sorry
02/05/2016
xenosbioz
Ill still like ur posts tho coz thats what i do
02/05/2016
xenosbioz
nvm this is pathetic
02/06/2016
xenosbioz
how come the guy didn't include u in his profile picture
or even the one before that
did you tell him not to
or is he ashamed
i think hes really ugly but does "=)" all the time so he doens't sound threatening... like the opposite of me ... I can do that though if you want me to but it'll make me sick
xenosbioz
but i guess he does "=)" all the time because... of course canadians get free health care who wouldn't smile with free health care
he flaunting his free health care to us
xenosbioz
i think i said steph responds like a rock earlier... i take that back!!! i just sucked at talking to her... its my fault, i like talking to her when shes not busy though
she always multitask when talking i think
xenosbioz
like i was so sad, so i talked to her... but in the middle of it all she was playing league of legends the whole time
xenosbioz
valentine's day coming up... he finna fly back down there again isn't he
i miss messaging u so much Jess... only here on tumblr though since im not blocked yet... and u didn't change ur name...
xenosbioz
i learned a lot... you can really talk to me, i wont get angry.. if i do its bcoz i'm trying to be funny..... im so sorry! u didn't know memuch but i get jealous really fast..
i'm so tired...
02/06/2016
xenosbioz
Is my extreme jealousy annoying? I could suppress it actually... I just like letting things out tho and i actually thought it was quite funny.... But if it annoyed u, u could tell me and id stop.... Id do anything u tell me to do (anything that makes sense)
xenosbioz
Or was i suppose to understand that without words?
xenosbioz
btw if u think im crazy/weird i'm really not o-o (at least I like to think im not crazy/weird)... its only coz of u that i lose it ... just saying, in case ur repelled by my eccentricities...
xenosbioz
btw... ur destiny is the silicon valley (my university was located around that area)...F3
xenosbioz
also... about getting even with you... you allowed the white guy to hold ur hand and wrap his arm around your waist playing pool... it bothered me... i never did anything with anyone... closest thing i do is greeting and goodbye hugs...
xenosbioz
sorry i really think i need to tell you everything now, or I can't move on... i know you'll be blocking me soon
xenosbioz
and.. one more thing.. i think you meant it when you said I understood you... at the time i was skeptical bcoz i knew you talked to other guys too... but i think you meant it now, and i want to say thank you for that, it means a lot to me
xenosbioz
sorry i couldn't understand you then... but i think you really did like me.. that last message i sent too, the one which u finally responded to, the one where i was kidding and saying random spam stuff like ill marry this person so she can have a green card... that message is the one that you finally responded to... you didn't respond to anything else, of course its that one, bcoz you actually liked me i think, and you responded "i dont like you and i wasn't going to respond to any of your messages but there are boundaries" message... it makes more sense if you actually liked me... and then after that you wrote in your blog that you're getting over this guy... a year after that, after i found your frostfire blog you said "I moved on"... it just makes sense now, didn't think of it before... i had a feeling but i wasn't certain since i knew you always hung out with so many other guys on leagueoflegends.. i'm sorry jess, i need to fully understand the situation... i was being unreasonable back then too, i was still in school and fixing my friendship thing with u was my first priority and it hurt when you didn't respond to anything or make a sign at all... i thought you would understand me too, but i'm a paranoid impulsive negative thinking kind of person..
sorry jess if i'm bothering u .. i know ur busy, but i think i need to resolve this thing for myself
i've been holding on... and i thought you would do the same... if we do believe in the same love... but u really are moving on ... and i have to, too
xenosbioz
i know you'll be with that guy... you are dating, ur just not giving it a title just like when you were with White guy...
xenosbioz
i think i said everything i needed to.. i hope.. just need to know if you read everything... this is probably the closest thing I can do... i'm at my limits... seeing u two together is making me see my future as unbearable..
even tho i look like a 12 yr old.. im getting old
im taller than you tho btw
just in case...
xenosbioz
actually nvm im not at my limits jk ELEVEN ELEVEN MAKE A WISH
xenosbioz
sorry Jess... i couldn't understand u... sorry i let you down
xenosbioz
ur probably even undecided to even respond... and if thats the case then ok i can wait no rush, five years six years seven years? no problem.
only consequence is i go crazy and do dumb things ... so sorry...
xenosbioz
actually i wont do dumb things i think i'm better than before
xenosbioz
Jess... you're the age i was when we first met...
sorry
i just think u want me to hang on and be crushed..
xenosbioz
seriously tho.. if you be my friend again... im a much better person than i was before..
xenosbioz
i bet the guy sang u vietnamese enka music on ur bday F3
xenosbioz
sorry again... i can see how im offensive.. i think... but i think its funny... so sorry.. funny things overpower my sensitivity to ppl's feelings ... so sorry
02/06/2016
xenosbioz
er sorry but nvm EVERYTHING i said, im just here to show u someone who can't move on!!!
xenosbioz
btw... i remember you said "you'll find someone who'll treasure u much more"... EVERYONE else treasures me more than you... you just DITCHEd me, that's super low treasure standards already.. so it's like you said "i hope you acknowledge everyone else around you except me"
xenosbioz
ah sorry i just keepthinking about the things you said.. nothing more... sorry again
02/07/2016
xenosbioz
Wait u really dont like mean guys then i guess o-o... The guy ur with looks super nice..
xenosbioz
I mean his personality.. Still looks like a dialysis patient to me tho... A mice dialysis patient who gives good tip ..
Nice not mice, typo on ipad
xenosbioz
I am actually glad u dont like mean guys
xenosbioz
I think stalking u saved me from being inconsistent though... I think u thought i just left u during that time when all along i was super obsessed and what i said was just a cover up .. I think it was scary how i was acting all casual with u too when i was actually like in love with u... Sorry about that too... Im so bipolar , only in love tho im actually quite normal... I probably got it wrong
How i hurt u and stuff
xenosbioz
But ill figure it out
xenosbioz
Since i think you don't like mean guys anymore, I will talk or message you formally.... Like this. And maybe add a little smiley.....
Like
xenosbioz
Nevermind... But Idc if you don't understand me... I was being really selfish and I'm over it...
I dont think i can get mad at you anymore... Since i know you really dont like mean guys
xenosbioz
This is what skype would have looked like if you didnt block me btw... Sorry Lol ... This really does suck though...
xenosbioz
You said you werent going to make another tumblr... Was this one bait? You're not blocking me like usual...
It's weird
xenosbioz
Im sure you feel resolved with everything that happened already... Why isnt it like that for me
xenosbioz
I bet after all these messages you dont even remember me being a calm person..
xenosbioz
You know... My confrontational behavior is something i learned/gain... My initial response is to run... I think u saw that too
I left our old jess4prez group when you deleted me on facebook coz i got really scared of you
xenosbioz
Then i tried blocking you on skype coz i couldnt face you and got super sad .. I think u noticed me blocking and unblocking you too
xenosbioz
Steph got so mad at me yesterday when i told her i was still stalking you... Im so sorry.. How did you move on so fast.. Its not fair
xenosbioz
She said its not fair to you though... Shes right im so sorry...
xenosbioz
Told her i was Liking ur posts... She told me senpai wont notice you Lol
xenosbioz
If we do become friends again tho i wont talk to you and annoy u all the time like im doing here... Would probably observe u from a distance
Like this: o-o
02/07/2016
xenosbioz
Anyways im actually happy for u... Glad u chose nice guy, being mean takes more effort and is very draining... Gl i think im done
xenosbioz
Btw im not like u tho who just kills friendships like that... So ur always welcome if u want to talk or w/e... I wont be mean and scary i promise! Being mean and scary was just me trying to hit on you and im so sorry...
xenosbioz
My meaness had meaning tho... U were probably too shocked to read inbetween the lines.. (The wtf is this tomodochi shit part... Tomodachi means friend right, and i thought we were friends... And the all you care about is no one but urself part... Trying to show u how hurt i was... And blah blah blah im sorry... I think that was the meanest thing i ever wrote... I really thought u would like me back for sure after that one)
xenosbioz
Ah sorry again i keep saying im done but i keep thinking ... Really dont want to leave any holes
For myself
Unresolved stuff really bothers me
xenosbioz
Actually it depends on the person... Like it bothers me if its unresolved with someone like you who i know gets hurt with friendship and who has trust issues and such
Ok i think im really done
xenosbioz
Also if it makes u feel better, no one greeted me happy bday on my bday Lol .. But i guess its my fault that no one knows...
xenosbioz
Ah another thing.... U know that summer when we were friends? I didnt say much and u dont need to know but i was going thru tough times.... Being ur friend helped me so much u have no idea. So thank you for that... Ill forever be grateful
02/07/2016
xenosbioz
ah im so sorry this is so gay BYE
Last Tuesday at 12:14 AM
xenosbioz
Sorry i think theres a glitch at midnight where im Unblocked im not doing anything really
xenosbioz
Or are u unblocking me so i can Like something.. Well today will b hello kitty ice cream...
Last Tuesday at 5:57 AM
xenosbioz
Did u read everything or did u delete conversation
Last Tuesday at 11:04 AM
xenosbioz
i feel that i can only move on if you know everything... im sorry if its out of your way...but i think its the only way for me to move on.. sorry again... its just really important for me
xenosbioz
and obviously it is bcoz its been so long, right?
or is not having a proper closure a left hander thing
xenosbioz
if you have AvPD.. then the more ill be attached to you... ill just assume u have AvPD and continue w/e im doing
or not idk sorry o-o
xenosbioz
the only promise ill make to you is that i wont be mean and scary anymore..
ah I missed 11:11 while typing that ^
xenosbioz
ah nvm this doesn't matter since u found better friends...
xenosbioz
sorry again
xenosbioz
i wasn't supposed to say anything since i was done... i messed up... but i really want to know if you didn't delete what i said w/o reading it... really wantded to know if you read all my messages from the beginning, worried that you didn't read some that would have helped this out a lot
ill stop, im sorry.. but i did say that ill stop in two weeks.. i think i have like 5 days left
then ill be gone for good
... which u probably missed if you just deleted everything i said...
ah i sorry im not supposed to be doing any of this at all... but i can't help it, i think its the only way for me, so im sorry, sorry is all i can say while i do this...
xenosbioz
yeah this is really bad o-o sorry
xenosbioz
btw i get really scared when you block me... and then u unblock me and i get so happy... so cruel playing with my emotions...
xenosbioz
or are you gonna wait 17 or 19 years first and then talk to me?.. it'll be nice if you tell me though so i know ill be waiting 17/19 years... would save me the trouble of uncertainty and internal mind struggle stuff... also i think i need to say sorry for my logic.. i think its screwed and doesn't make much sense to other ppl than it does to me... but i actually do get compliments on how i think! but i think it depends on the situation...
xenosbioz
i like tumblr's new feature thing... look
xenosbioz
u can message ppl with a post with the little arrow thingie to the left of the reblog button
Like
xenosbioz sent a photo
sorry...
i bet ur looking for a gif to send me now
like
in that one debate where bernie sanders tells the moderators "enough with the damn emails!!"
k sorry ill stop
xenosbioz sent a photo his mouth says “hooray!” but his...
OKAY AFTER THIS ill stop
xenosbioz
really hope ur voting bernie sanders though...
Last Thursday at 9:53 AM
xenosbioz
One last thing I hope.. it's supposed to be kinda funny (maybe creepy would override it but whatever I'm doing now is already creepy but idc anymore)... list of ppl you used to follow that you might want to follow again.. crisilla/ reuniclus/ popcutie/ maryvampire/ girlygoth/ winterlively/ wtfjonathon/ bri-slut/ parksora/ meido-kafe/ fuckyeahuhljjang/ johnny-cupcake/ ohheyitspatriciaa/ staypositive.me/ yourdoesofdailyjoy/ fuuchans/ seifukme/ ajtpak/ phantomsolari/ mochichan00/ fuuchans/ naomilku/ lolkiriko I used to check their blogs too after learning you were ditching Tomogo... but the funny part... after you told me "I don't like you and I wasn't going to respond to any of your messages but there are boundaries and you pushed it blah blah blah quit spamming" ... that's when you switched your name from Tomodochi to Tomogo... this is summer of 2013 Btw... and then I knew from that, that you had some sort of tracking thing, so I didn't want to go to Tomogo, and instead I went to lolkiriko's Likes since I knew he like your personal posts and... I wanted to know what's going on with you and stuff so I would check tumblr.com/liked/by/lolkiriko to bypass your tracker and .. the funny part is that he likes SO MUCH porn, so it was so weird to see your posts sandwiched in between lots of porn... sorry, I think that was one the funniest part of my stalking adventures that I can remember and wanted to share... if you didn't laugh then w/e I thought it was funny.. okay backed to being blocked I guess..
Last Thursday at 3:30 PM
xenosbioz
wanted to shout at him, stAY aWay from her u creepy person!! but i think again... and it was me who has been the creepy stalker person all along...
Last Friday at 5:03 AM
xenosbioz
Ah im so sorry.. Just remembered something.... When u were with white guy and he told u he just wanted to b friends.. This was the night before ur 18th bday if u dont remember... But after he said that u said u deleted his number... I took that as u really did want a relationship with him and never thought about me... I knew u didnt like me then for sure
xenosbioz
And then... U were probably hurt bcoz i showed u that i moved on really fast.... Little did u know that id secretly love u 4ever
xenosbioz
I think i was most frustrated 2013/2014... My brother moved to socal and i visited like every month... I even stayed with him for a month during the summer.... Really had to talk to you , thought i can fix things but we had to be friends online first... You told me to not message you or anything so i waited for you to message me.... But that would never have happened knowing you
xenosbioz
That was the summer when u said "whats the point blah blah blah heres my closure but idc about yours" and also when u started hanging out with the type 2 diamondbetes guy..
xenosbioz
Im so sorry jess this will stop soon...
xenosbioz
It took me awhile to find angelmints... U told me u wouldnt make another tumblr so i never bothered looking
xenosbioz
Idk i cant move on until i understand everything... Also when i finally do move on i never look back... I still talk to ppl i move on from but that feeling thing is never there, ever... I think it would be good if that happens... Or do u just not want me to understand and torture me forever
xenosbioz
I bet u sped read over something that wouldnt make you hate me so much
xenosbioz
Im typing on an ipad btw
xenosbioz
Bet after valentines day the guy will update his fb profile "in a relationship with jessica obrique" i dont want to still be messaging u like this when that happens, that would be even more pathetic Lol... Im not pathetic like this irl tho, but this is not irl so i have no choice... Im so sorry
Ok this is looking bad now, have to sleep now, i have to wake up in like 20 minutes
xenosbioz
I think i can move on now tho since i know ur with the diabetic guy, really... I think thru out the year, the ambiguity of ur relationship was the torture
U are with him, right? It no longer says single on his profile
xenosbioz
I bet u like him coz he acted the opposite of me... Nice and not aggressive... When really im the nicest person ever, i had to become a creepy stalker person to show u that i cared, sacrificing my dignity!!
xenosbioz
Just imagining u two doing w/e u did in vegas makes me sick... I think thats whats going to help me move on tho
xenosbioz
Really wish i ccould talk to u but i think this is the closest to a closure thing that i could get... Its really frustrating
xenosbioz
And that mean response thing on ur 19th bday... It actually went thru 2 filters and was much meaner Lol... It was actually my response to you on gaia after you blocked me, but i couldnt send it... Im sorry jess but i dont take back what i said... I really do think ur a hypocrite, calling urself tomodachi, which means friend right? And ur awful at it.. No effort at all, kills friendships easily, inconsiderate of others
xenosbioz
But i still love you
Sorry
Last Friday at 10:44 AM
xenosbioz
U know I'm starting to think you gave your guy your Tumblr password and he's been deleting my messages...
xenosbioz
that's not a good thing... coz I really need to know if you read everything so I can move on, benefits the both of us... if you didn't read anything then idk if this will go on... I'm so sorry that it has to be like this, but I think it's the only way for me
xenosbioz
its 11 11...
i usually send u a skype buddy request 11 11 even tho i know im blocked Lol... been my daily ritual... o-o
xenosbioz
been missing it as of late though... i was so consistent at it last year and the year before tho...
xenosbioz
ah oops, the more i think about it... i think i said you're an awful friend but you aren't, i'm sure you're just awful to me but good to everyone else... sorry about that..
xenosbioz
yeah im sorry oops .___.
Last Friday at 6:34 PM
xenosbioz
Yeah... I shouldnt message u when im half asleep... Sorry Jess
Last Friday at 10:24 PM
xenosbioz
ahh another thing... I didn't know if you noticed but you probably noticed with your friends... it was when you were playing League of legends. I stalked all your games... yep I'm more creepy than you thought. But this was really cool... because you were up against T8's Slooshi. this was before team8 joined the LCS, they were still a challenger team. I looked at his history and he duo with Hai all the time. I wanted to yell at you, that you're up against Hai's friend... he was on Yasuo and you were on Corki... you had like 9 kills and was super fed, and he started off like 0/7... idk but everytime you play I want the other team to win. I always want you to lose. I'm telling you this now or you'll never know!!! But you probably do remember this game... idk I was excited. Anyways, you were up 10k gold this game, but in the end, Slooshi aced everyone except you... you were near the turret, and they were taking a nexus turret down... and then u got caught by him and died, and they won the game in like 25ish minutes... this was like... summer of 2014. I wouldn't be this creepy if we had a proper closure though... i am so sorry but im going to stop soon because this is really unhealthy mentally though... but i witnessed it!!! ur battle with famous lcs player Slooshi8. i dont play LoL btw... i just watched the lcs thing so in case we became friends again I can sorta talk about it... i'm only like level 22 in that game btw... sorry jess... needed to tell you before I'm gone though, coz it's something cool, that you probably didn't notice...
xenosbioz
Also watched that game when... i think you were up against another famous person... Liquid Inori I think, i dont think hes in the LCS though but he was like rank 2... he was ziggs top and you were syndra... and thats all i remember in that game. you won that game too i think...
i thought that was cool Lol
sorry
xenosbioz
oops, messed up with the terms.. *inhibitor turret, you were near the inhibitor turret when u were caught by the tornado thing*
Last Friday at 11:44 PM
xenosbioz
yeah i made a mistake... you're a perfect friend, just dind't like how you didn't tell me anything and how you just ignored me... im so sorry i get so crazy like this idk what's wrong with me.. i keep saying sorry and i keep messaging you, i'm supposed to stop... but you were my favorite friend... i think i made an error last time, the 3rd time when you finally messaged me.. i said you were my best friend, i meant favorite friend, not best friend
xenosbioz
i think i understand why you'd hate me so much though
xenosbioz
how come im not blocked.. yesterday or today, it's weird
i think im more comfortable being blocked...
when im not blocked... i keep spamming random things, so im sorry... but when im blocked i have more time to organize my spam
xenosbioz
and then when you unblock me i can nvm this is sod umb
im following 46 Tumblrs.. you're at 42%, second person is 11%
wish you were at 90 something percent and 2nd person 1%
that means i have to like and reblog only your posts i think
or i can follow more ppl
and that'll drop other ppl's %... since i only like and reblog from like 4 ppl
sorry why am i telling you this i need to sleep
oh i know why i was talking about it...
when im blocked i still see you on the side at 40 whatever %
but it doesn't show me following you
xenosbioz
Ahhhh snow day in neko atsume
U should play neko atsume
Yesterday at 10:30 PM
xenosbioz
Jess I'm moving on....
my chair, it has wheels now weeee jajajaja
Sorry
Today at 12:07 AM
xenosbioz
Sorry Jess idk if I'm getting my assumptions right or if I'm just super creepy right now because you forgot everything that happened between us... that happens to me a lot I remember a lot of things and the other person forgets and it makes me sad... I think you forgot everything... honestly I'm holding onto that one thing, idk the exact words but it went something like... it makes you feel important if someone keeps trying to you but you just brush them off... I remember that very well
I think because of that, I feel subconsciously that it's okay to stalk you like this... but it probably isn't right... something's really off
I'm sorry
xenosbioz
I bet you just remember me as some random stalker and forgot everything else
xenosbioz
but I guess that's a good thing on your end... to always look forward and stuff and think of the good things coming your way... so I guess it's bad that I'm bringing this stuff up...
xenosbioz
i'm not supposed to be holding you back like this
sorry again
angelmints
Hi, before you read any further, I’m going to tell you that this isn’t Jess talking to you, but her boyfriend. For the last couple months the two of us have been sharing this account, so when you messaged we both read the messages together. She has read every message and accepts your apologies, but she doesn’t wish to talk to you. We decided that it is best that I reply to you, but these are Jess’s words as well. I don’t know you personally, but from the messages that I have read I know that you are a sensible person, and that I’m sure you also know that what you’re doing isn’t healthy to either of you two. If you claim to be her friend and have feelings for her, then you should know that you wouldn’t want to hurt her or make her uncomfortable. I don’t want to see her hurt anymore, and I know that you never wanted to hurt her, or hurt her now, but you do. We both really hope that you can move on, knowing that your messages have gone through. I hope you can respect our privacy and that fact that we’re together now, and for as much as we would like to be happy together, we both also hope you can find solace and move on now. I also personally hope that you will be able to find someone that can make you happy, just like I have in Jess. We will delete this tumblr account soon, and she will not make another account, not with me around. I’m taking care of her now and will be there to protect her for a long time.
xenosbioz
OH HEY!
SORRY MAN!!!
Ah sorry for calling you names then
xenosbioz
Ah you are a nice guy
I'm glad then
Lol
I was right then!! when i said someone else was reading my messages...
xenosbioz
Thanks for replying!!!!!
how did I hurt her though?
hard to move on if I don't know anything
did i get it right?
was it what I said before?
xenosbioz
why were you single on facebook
how did i hurt her?
could have been fixed if we talked
you're not after her green card are you
Lol JK
xenosbioz
she moving to canada?
FREE HEALTH CARE
is that why she not into american politics
IM KIDDING though...
sorry
Lol
IM HAPPY
that I"M TALKING TO A Non robot
you're not a robot though right
coz ur league of legends skills look like a robot
xenosbioz
Lol
I STALKED U there
ur good
thresh
and
UH
ALISTAR
I dont play btw
i just stalk jess
Lol
xenosbioz
sorry
IM NOT CRYING
Hey are you still there...
nice to meet you though... even tho you just peeked ur head in... said something things... and held ur head back and walked away...
xenosbioz
wait don't go
xenosbioz
does she want hinaminatomodochitomogo bhack
I HAVE ALL the good account names
waaait
angelmints
Hey, sorry for the late response, it’s nice to finally be able to talk to you, although I don’t want to go too much into this. I’m going to keep this brief. You hurt her by invading her privacy and continuing to harass her for all these years. We felt like there was no need to publicly declare the status of our relationship. She does not want her account names back; she isn’t planning to make another account
xenosbioz
ah okay
xenosbioz
is she moving to canada
it's funny
i was in canada like
in september
vancouver too
went on a road trip
the border patrols crazy!!
they stopped us
the guy
looked like uhh
xenosbioz
fidel castro Lol
xenosbioz
hey you're just like her!
not responding
Lol
good match
ah it doesn't hurt as much since I knew it was coming
thanks though for talking for her
ahhh
i can breathe again
thanks so much man!
xenosbioz
but its weird
i think i hurt her before she set up the tracking thing
how did i hurt her before that?
xenosbioz
why can't all three of us talk
and then i bring steph in
partyyyy
xenosbioz
Sorry I think you don't want to tal like that... to me...
Lol SORRY
talk*
but UM
xenosbioz
i need to have a real resolve thingie
so i can move on
you'll help me right
xenosbioz
Sorry I can be mature too. Is this better?
angelmints
You’re most welcome. She doesn’t want to talk anymore about how you hurt her in the past. She doesn’t wish to discuss anything else with you. We are going to delete this account soon, so if you have anything else you want to say, then please do, but no more questions. We want to put this behind us, and we want you to move on too.
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