WOAH WAKE UP CALL.  SHOULD HAVE NOT STALKED.  SHE LOOKS SO CUTE.  FK, /fail stalk

I have also finished 1Q84.  It's not my favorite, but there are memorable parts that I would like to reread.  I would not want to read the whole thing again though, it is way too long, and the parts I do like happen only once every 200 pages.  I will list my favorite moments later.  The passages I would read over and over that I have to keep in mind.  And mostly, they pertain to her. 

I should stop reading Murakami.  Seriously. It's like, what I am getting most from it is self-destruction, with a mix of wishful illusions.  It's indirectly telling me that I must hold on to her.  Practically, I should not.  But it feels so natural to do so... I think I would still be in the same position even if I did not read Murakami anyway.  But these books help me cope, so much.  I would probably be dead without it.  I guess it's like a friend, because I do not have a friend to talk to, this book is like a friend who would have the same effects that a friend would have, excluding the hugging, the facial expressions, and the randomness... well, writing that was depressing, I really do need friends.

Anyways... I think I should just be a nurse. Lol, I'm too old to do anything new.  If only I looked older, my mind wouldn't say that I am young, and that there are countless possiblities.

Not that I really cared about any possibilities in my life.  I am perfectly comfortable where I am at, but it could be better.  I've never really like doing anything.

If only she was really a libra, that her views are of justice and if only I did not gravitate to how I believed I myself needed the same justice, if only she didn't like that other guy she probably would trust me, because I wouldn't do anything silly.  It was all anger that messed me up.  I should always remember that nothing is fair.  "Eye for an eye" they say, and I thought I was doing justice, but it was a misunderstanding and it backfired.  I really think this was the reason, and I could never explain it, I don't think she would have understand.