No... it was all my fault.  I should've just talked to her... I should have fixed it immediately.  I should know that she's the avoidant from the beginning... when I first met her she was really avoidant, she's supposed to be naturally avoidant... why couldn't I think of that.

In academics, I don't think I could have done any better than I did when I was in high school.  I think that if I were to start again, I'd be completely absorbed in my reading, even if I did it in leisure time.  But I take way too many breaks, and because of that, I won't reach any deadlines.  I think this is important for me to soak in what I'm reading. Reading takes way too long for me, and I wouldn't be able to finish any assignments...

Or am I just justifying why I am so incompetent compared to everyone else?  Yes, I think that's it.