This.

This is how you become reclusive.

Friends leaving you for other people.
No where else to express hate.
Being naturally reserved.
Not knowing what happened....

I feel like randomly tripping people walking down aisles.

Anyways, some thoughts:

Maybe I should transgender myself, and call myself a lesbian.  Just like Oshima in Kafka but instead of a girl turning into a guy but being attractive to guys, I'll turn myself into a female (but be attracted to girls).

I think in the future I'll put weeds in pots, and grow fields of flowers.  But my main plants that would be in pots would be different species of weeds.

I think the only way guys can get away with being sensitive is to make it funny somehow.

ugh why can't I just be a recluse all my life... I can but... there's really nothing I can do to get revenge on those people who I just hate so much...