Last week I planned for yesterday to be the day I finally kill myself... didn't go through because my brother worked double the night before yesterday so he got yesterday night off... and I was supposed to die yesterday night. Maybe tonight? Why do I feel so scared... I shouldn't mind death, it's nothing, right? It's supposed to be nothing...
and holy fuck, I can't even kill myself coz the car is in the other house, and my dad brought the van to work, so the vehicles that can actually kill me are not here. fuuuuuuuu.
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