Copy & Paste

I learned a lot from shows.  Especially Arthur, and that episode where he doesn’t show his mom that envelope.  And the more he keeps it away from her, it gets bigger and bigger and he’ll eventually have to tell, especially if its his mom, someone who he loves so much. I guess I’m in the same position.  I’m not lying, and they never asked, but I guess  its the same as him saying “he didn’t tell me to give it to her… he just said it was FOR her…”


I don’t know even if  I should tell them, we’ve drifted apart already, and it feels like if I interfere now, I’ll interfere with their personal lives.  I should avoid that, because I’ve experienced this before.  It’s best if I don’t tell sometimes, but I shouldn’t care if they do find out.  I love them a lot, they helped me through times that I would have mental breakdowns.  They are friends after all.  But then again, we’re moving on, and I met new people along the way as well… so maybe my effort should be with my new friends and I should leave my old friends… but we didn’t even have a heart to heart talk about how we’re drifting apart, and why I’m not telling them of why I feel so disconnected.  It kinda hurts because I’ve developed feelings for her, and its another problem that to kill the feelings I have to like someone else, but liking someone else will cause me to be hurt even more just like before.  I should learn from my mistakes.


Anyways, I’ve been feeling happy and content with my life… I feel like I have a group of friends, but at the same time, it’s only been a month, and I feel that I can get boring fast and they’ll lose interest in me.  I feel it already.  I don’t want that to happen, and I don’t want to force anything as well. At this moment, I’m feeling uncomfortable with them. Those silly horoscopes are coming back to me as well.  They’re dumb, they’re no real, they’re stupid.  I should avoid it, and not mention them.  But what if its not real but true at the same time?  What if the qualities are true for just this one person?  I’ll be missing out on a lot.

I’ve been playing FFIX too.  Vivi…

God, why so sad, but happy and enlightening at the same time… such a good symbol for life, or my life. I don’t know how I should feel… I’m not doing well in terms of making money, being closer to love or anything.  But I’m feeling quite satisfied in my growth in personality.

My Mage is 199, I want people to be there when I reach 200, so that’s why I’m not 200 yet.  I want my CTF friends to be there, and I want some of my guildies to be there, and Sophie, Jen and Sophia. And my brother.  But I have to tell them who I am. Please get the hints and confront me about it, but knowing “her” she wouldn’t confront me because she’s not the type to.  Maybe the other two will.  Maybe.