trier.

I TALKED TO HER.  FATE FATE FATE.  But then again, fate is never on my side.  WHATEVER.  I wonder how old she is.  I think she's really old but looks really young the more I'm thinking about it, but it's probably just one of those affects of doubt.  And so age shouldn't really matter, but my perspective on how I should act will change according to her age.  I need to find the basis to my character, and eliminate, or at least try to eliminate my defects.

Anyways, yeay motivation to play the piano LMAO.

If she is old though, and I'm acting kiddy... sigh.  Whatever, gotta be myself somehow.  If  she doesn't wear make-up tho and all that, dressing nice, and nice fit and everything, I'm a bit worried now, it increases the chance that she's already taken!  Hella long awkward silences walking with her though.  Need to loosen up, and be whoever I am.

Be her friend.  That is all.  FRIEND.  YUP.  A VERY CUTE FRIEND I'LL HAVE.  I just have to follow it up, and say hi, and say her name as well to make it personalized. Then I think, how the hell did i make friends? this break I'll practice on my communication skills.  I'm so bad, using my friends to gain exp for talking,  FOR A GIRL.

One thing that should make me happy today, is that I established a reason to say hi.  This is making me exciting to become mature... or whatever.  I'll act immature, but I'll take responsibility for whatever happens and I won't complain.  I felt like I sounded like an ass when I talked about myself, but oh well, I feel so fake.  Why is it so hard to befriend people like that?  I'm talking to myself.  So, I think it is because of our maturity levels.  Her's is much higher, and that's all there is to it.  Was it weird for me to ask her how long she's been at this college?  I hope its not.  Man, first impression sucks. I feel disappointed on myself.  She didn't say bye to me, she just left, like she was waiting to leave.  Of course, that's how they are if they're with awkward people.

I need courage.  I need to feel like I can do something.  I need to stop standing still and acting cool when I'm really not.  I know what I need to do, and it's to say something, regardless if I'm nervous or not, my nerves will calm down once I start going.  I need to be like JK.  A trier.

Here's how it went so I won't forget.

I was standing alone.  Listening to my music.  She passed by behind me to talk to the man behind me.  I turned around right away, not thinking, and asking her if she's here to help as well.  She smiled, its a really nice one, a bit different than the smile she smiled when she didn't look at me.  But it was a smile.  Maybe she's not a talker.  Or maybe she just doesn't like me.  Maybe I'm too awkward to be around.  Anyways, I blurted out afterwards, asking if they're both taking piano next year.  She said yes.

We were walking to the other center.  She was walking fast, ahead of me.  I caught up, and we walked together.  We talked about the next level of piano, and how it's different than group 1, though I don't remember how that conversation initiated.  We walked, we split, we walked, she walked to the other side, I was walking on another side.  She was going to follow me, then I change directions like two times.  I hope she doesn't hear me as a mumbler.  I hope I talk loud enough.

We arrived there, she was eating, I did nothing.

Then we helped.

Then we left.

And that was that.

But we were walking together at one point, so I can say hi to her now without feeling like a stranger.

This made my semester.

Mood:  Happy.