back.

I'm going back to my old self.  What was my old self?  Striving hard, working hard, getting things done.  I'm tired of being relaxed and carefree.  I'm tired of watching the world, and thinking that nothing will change.  I want to go back to who I used to be, or who I thought I was before.

But I can't, because I'm just me.  I'm everything I've done.  I can't "say" that I'm going back.  Except, I've learned a lot more.  I'll have a higher level of motivation as I work harder.  I guess I'm just inspired by Captain Tezuka lol  He's so serious, I think it's cool to be serious, like I was before... at least, I'd like to think that I was serious, maybe I wasn't so serious.

I was told to relax and smile. After my first, I started smiling... and people commended me for smiling!  Or not commend, but were like "woah you're smiling!"  I guess I never did smile back then.  Even in fifth grade, my teacher wrote in my "yearbook" that I have to smile more, and try to relax and that I have a nice smile.  Another fifth grade friend wrote that it's funny how I try to hide my smile.  And almost everyone else said that I'm too quiet.  I guess I get lost in my head often, that I don't realize what I'm affecting around me.

It could also be that I thought I was like what they said but what was I back then?  Back then when I didn't feel so pessimistic.  Was I pessimistic back then?  Am I pessimistic now?  Eh, whatever lol

I like Manga because of *one* writer and artist.  I feel that I learn more about the person and I grasp the entire meaning of the piece and what the writer is trying to convey in it.  77-78 PoT

Last Thursday, I missed my chance yet again.  She was walking ahead of me, I didn't do anything.  BUT I was also ready in case we met at the roll sheet, or whenever I see her down a hallway.  I was SO ready to say hi, but I didn't see her.  Nor was my friend here today, and it sucks because I really wanted to talk about this with her.  Anyways, I noticed that she wore her jacket around the waist.  YES!  She's not that intimidating anymore knowing she did a nerd! Or maybe it's not a nerd since she's a she, and guy nerds tie jackets or sweaters around their waste.  Hmm.  But man, that will attract more people to her... I'm afraid of other guys finding her attractive which is most likely... this is why I have to act quick before it's too late... sigh.

... one month left. I just know that I'll regret not saying anything to her after this semester is over, and as I age.

Maybe I'll bring my big umbrella and hopefully it rains... and she forgets her umbrella... KLJFS!! WTF.

OH YEAH.  And 9s I passed: No 1 Nation, Xuxa, July, Tell, While the Rekkid Spinz.  Gonna try to beat Let My love Go Blind next lol, I died at the end with that <>< looking consecutive steps, I think its good practice coz I seem to be bad at those.  And the steps that go <>^<V or something like that lol (the awkward twist/turns which may put my back facing the screen)