I'm thinking wrong.

I think I've just been thinking wrong.

It's not going to work out.

I'm in control, and I won't control it well.

She's okay without me.  And it's only been two days for me alone, and I'm feeling better. Maybe because I know, and it feels like its not the end.

Would I really like her in person?  I think I know her in person.  Will she tell me and talk to me things said straight out in person?  Or would she be intimidated and sucking up like the other people I meet in person?

I'm doubting my expectations.

If we eventually do get in a relationship, it won't workout.

She's eight hours away from me.  And I'm not much of a driver.

I want her to be a friend though... I'll try to do that I guess if I miss her more.  I'll give it some time first though. I just can't break contact and shit like that... unless she's just okay with me being away from her.  I don't know.  Honesty!

I wonder if I hurt her though... well she asked for it! I showed my vulnerable sides, and all my true sides and shit to her, she's not walking away knowing it that easily.

Anyways, I watched a girl orgasm today.  It's funny, wtf it's like they hold bags filled with water and drop it.  She didn't squirt, she poured it. Different girls have different kinds of orgams.  Interesting. Another random sex question/thought.  Do girls orgasm at the same time as the guy?  After the girl orgasms, won't it hurt? Do they have a refractory period too? Why did Physiology have to skip this shit. Argh, stupid virginity. Just kidding, I like being a virgin.  I think it will make me more attractive when I date someone. And I think I would want to save it for marriage.  Seriously. I don't think sex is fun if I'd do it with someone I don't love.  I'll feel guilty afterwords. Passionate sex for the win, bitch.

And in another thought, I think I should just be open about myself when they ask, or when I feel the feelings too strong.  I like to remain mysterious, but I want people to know what I'm thinking and how I feel too. Everyone's mysterious, I think I mean reserved.  I like that quality of mine's. I like being reserved.