I've never been happier.. I'm so glad I pushed it.  Must have been annoying, but I needed to be.

You know what?  I'm going to finish Grandia, then I'm going to finish Dragon Quest VIII.

"We are freeer than we'd like to admit, we are freeer than we'd like to admit, we are freeer than we'd like to admit" 

*Sulks in the corner*

"...Because it kind of gives people permission for other people to do the same thing.  Disrespect invites disrespect.  Violence incites violence..."

Meryl Streep said it!!  I learned about this in my philosophy medieval European political class, and I keep repeating the same thing, but everyone follows the leader.  If the leader is all self-interest, everyone else would be... whether conscious or not conscious about it...

Anyways, I'm playing Wild Arms and rereading The Things They Carried.

The Liutenant feels that it was his fault that one of his subordinates died because he wasn't concentrating on the war; he was distracted by thinking of the person he loves.  Reminds me of me when my grandpa died.  I cried a lot at his funeral and viewing, not because of him, but because of that girl who would never love me back!

My energy level is so low...

I should always remember this feeling.  It's what long breaks does to me.  I can't wait for school to start.

... then there are aesthetics.  You just don't say certain words because they look and sound ugly.  How can I communicate when there are ugly words that I think of, and are meant to say, at that particular moment?  By not talking at all!  Or just replying "okay."  Words that I don't like saying include "awesome" or... "dude."  Actually, "dude" does not go through my head often.  But I semi-cringe when I hear someone say it... actually "cringe" is a word I don't like seeing or hearing.  

This doesn't have anything to do with word aesthetics, but "Holy fucking shit" comes to my head often or "what the fuck does this faggot want."  But my moral code does not allow me to say it.

Edit: Actually, nevermind, all words piss me off.

I wrote something earlier because I thought of something to blog about earlier, but I forgot what it was... I was hoping I would remember if I wrote something.  But I remembered what I wanted to blog about!

It was about "misunderstanding" and being "misunderstood."

These problems can be remedied by BETTER COMMUNICATION SKILLS.  I'm sure there are words for everything already... people just have to know them.  It's usually teenagers that are often "misunderstood" I think, because they don't know as many words as adults!!

But then again, words can lose its meaning by overuse... like "awesome" and "amazing." But people should be smart enough to know what those mean...

I think I said this before, but what does being understood mean anyway, is it tolerance or do we have to be "accepting" (being accepting by being "nice").

Speaking of being "nice" I don't like it if I'm with a person for a prolonged period of time, and all they show me is "nice."  I just don't like it.  It'll and it makes me uncomfortable.

So anyways, I think people who are often misunderstood just need to develop better communication skills.  (Which is what I'm about to do since I suck so much at communication!)

And to elaborate on the Will to Power thing... because I would think about the Will to Power when I feel or have thoughts of killing myself.  Thinking that I'm supposed to be possessed with the Will to Power just drops all those bad thoughts.