I am so sad.

I think I did feel the earthquake at 2.  I randomly woke up, turned on my iPad, and used up my Stamina in Final Fantasy Record Keeper and went back to sleep.

Things I still need to do about it:

• Apologize for being mean (and reason out that she told me she likes mean guys, and of course, saw it as my chance to show that I can be really mean too...)  But I really did mean what I said. It would have been worth it if she stopped using friends and throwing them away, though I doubt it.  I noticed she stopped hanging out with another person.  
• Saying why I did not accept the apology (since she left again when I wasn't finished)
• Tell her I said happy birthday last year on her BlogSpot but she didn't close it down or whatever so assume that it is okay to do so

I said I imagined you ugly.  That way if you really are ugly I am prepared to love you anyway.

UGH ALL MY FRIENDS SUCK SO MUCH. *CRIESSSSSSSSS*

I found her new Tumblr...

And now I can't stop refreshing the page.

I find it enlightening.  The colors are vibrant, the posts are meaningful.  And it makes me happy.  Sorry for stalking.

I should be happy that I really did not lose.

She's not in a relationship yet.

Even if she did like me, I am a different person... the person she'd like does not exist.

But I have always liked her.  My like is genuine, because I have always stalked her.  I am a super creepy stalker.