I had a weird dream a couple of days ago.

My dad brought home boxes of Halloween chocolates.  About 20 boxes.  They were all on sale, because it's been way past Halloween.

I opened one box, and started eating.  I knew it was chocolate, but it tasted awful.  Then I looked at the chocolates.  Each chocolate was a baby animal, with its eyes closed.  A bird, a mouse. With their eyes closed, like they were dead.  But of course, they was chocolates.  They were made to be shaped like baby animals because it's Halloween.  I didn't eat anymore and told them to return it...

It was such a weird, and memorable dream.  There was more that happened in the dream, but this is what I chose to remember.

It made me think... did we really evolve by killing baby animals and cooking them up and eating them?  Maybe we really did just eat more vegetables and fruits than animals back then.  This is sick.

But this is really what we eat.  I remember pictures of baby chicks being grinded down... but I chose not to think of this when I eat chicken.

I also finished reading Fullmetal Alchemist a few weeks ago.  There was a scene where the Elric twins had to survive in an island, and they had to kill and eat a cute little rabbit.

Why is this so gross??!?!

Anyways, speaking of Fullmetal Alchemist, there were two things that made me ponder:

Do we really just want friends?  The character Greed did not want the world, fame, and money.  Hiromu Arakawa's resolve for Greed was that all he wanted were good friends, and it was good enough to die for.  Is that what we, humans in general, all really want in life?  Because I think that's all I want.  A stable group of friends that accept me.  But it's weird.  Greed's friends, the Elric brothers, seemed to be not very close.  Edward would always deny their friendship, and insult him... which is probably what friendship really is about.... or maybe friendship is just a feeling where you feel comfortable being with other people, and those other people are what you call friends?  How do you know when you feel truly comfortable anyways, I am sure there are moments where you wouldn't feel comfortable in a moment with friends you are mostly comfortable with....

Another thing that it made me think of, was the character Pride.  He was supposed to think for himself, and he was 12.  Edward Elric was... 14 or 15, when he told Pride to do that.  I was supposed to think for myself when I was 14... like, seriously think for myself, but I didn't, so my thinking was just comparing myself to these kids.  I think school definitely halted my growth.  School caused my suicidal thoughts;  School and the media, and my nature, but more on school.  I rely on others way to much, and I missed out on a lot of growing, the growing which would have made me more independent where I feel I can do whatever I want, feeling comfortable doing whatever I want without tiring out... and I feel like I am still not going to do it.  I like staying at home way too much.  I have become too comfortable, avoiding pain, and I may be like this for the rest of my life.

Oh gosh, I am feeling so much positive energy.  I am not used to this... I think I should sleep it off.

STORY IDEA:

Everyone meets this one person.  Everyone then lives their lives without that person, making decisions furthering their future, and all decisions made were based on that one person's impact.

 So everything everyone does were influenced by that one person, however, upon making those conscious decisions, they do not think about that one person at all.

That person isn't remembered.  Everything was a subconscious decision triggered by memories of that person, but the person, he himself, isn't remembered.  And he lives his life, being alone, and suffering by his own mind, in internal solitary confinement.

Everyone else lives happily with their successful decision making, though their old friend isn't even acknowledged, or remembered.

woaHhH popular Twitch.tv girl is following me in Tumblr.... Lol

I LOVE RAIN IN SPRING.

I think I confuse instinct with intuition more than often.... intuition should be >>>>>>>>>>> than instinct

My knees hurt.

Thinking about the future saddens me.

Thinking about the past saddens me.

Trying to get into Full Metal Alchemist.  On Ch 62 right now, but it just makes me miss  One Piece.  It's not as addicting to read.

Caught up with ONE PIECE.  I don't know what to do with my life anymore T___T

*eats pizza*