I think we only get mad at things we could have changed. 

And that's when I think about her.

I think I'll move on once society feels like a better escape from her.

But for now, the pain of holding on is less painful than what's out there.  I think it's generally an unhealthy way of thinking, but it just feels so natural.

Weird Dream

I had another weird dream.  It was between 2:30am to 4:30am, but that does not mean anything.  Nothing means anything anyway so I don't know why I'm saying that something should mean something because saying that implies that it should mean something even though it probably means nothing at all.

But between that hour, it means that the dream happened sometime between 2:30am to 4:30am.  I don't know why my mind decided to dream about what I dreamed but it did.  Maybe dreams help us remember things to reveal the connection of all events in our lives, because it's all connected.  Shapes us who we are I guess.

Sorry for the digression. You want to know what my dream was of.  And, I shall...

It was evening.  It felt like those long road trips and you stop at a gas station.  But, at night, it's getting darker, because well, it felt like it was evening.  Maybe it was actually morning but the dream portrayed it as evening.  Well, I was sleeping at 2:30am-4:30am so technically it was really morning.  But the dream looked like it was evening, so please picture it as evening.

Sorry again.

I went inside a market.  I felt that it was Safeway, so it is Safeway even though it isn't.  So I enter Safeway, and took an unwrapped toilet paper off the shelf, but I noticed there were only two rolls.  THe one I picked up was smaller than the other one, so I assume that someone actually used this one.  I put it down, and pick up the bigger one, and went up to the counter to pay for it.  Along with the bigger toilet paper roll, I bought bags of bread and some other pastries.  Maybe it wasn't Safeway, but Target.  The cashier was a Filipino lady with short hair wearing a red vest.  So that's why I think it could be Target. Because of her red vest.  I think Target workers wear those things. And then my cell phone rang and I talked to my mom... then the dream got really fuzzy.

I was carrying all the groceries I bought at Safeway orTarget... actually, it could even be SeaFoodcity.  They wear red vests there too, right?  And she was a Filipino lady.  And one of my grocerries was two bags of Pandesal... but whatever.  I drop a lot of groceries on my way to my car, and on the way to my car were these gangster looking people.  They went up to me, and I felt like I knew them.  They warned me about the cops, so I hurried and I felt like I wasn't holding any of my grocerries.  And somehow I had a red car and it was parked in the middle of the road, and I thought "why did I park in the middle of the road" so I get in the car and the keys are like attached to the chair.  I didn't have the keys when I went in.  So I enter the car, take the keys from the chair, and drove... the car was stick shift, and I don't know how to drive stick but I drove it anyway figuring out how to drive it in the process

.... and then some weird voices and flashes of memory flashes in my mind and I wake up.  The end.

Such a weird dream, and now I procrastinated enough.

Canadians

"OTL" is hella Canadian.  I only seen two people who use that and they're both Canadian.  Therefore it's hella Canadian.

"Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself."

Damn damn damn damn damn.

Don't be arrogant.
Don't be arrogant.
Don't be arrogant.
Don't be arrogant.
Don't be arrogant.
Don't be arrogant.
Don't be arrogant.

It's like my mustache grows faster everyday now, and I have to shave every two days.. maybe by next year or two, I'd have to shave every day.  fauuwwwWk... kes.  I think I want to read Harry Potter again.

And it Dawned on me

You know how there is usually an overcover to an allegory in any epic story?  Like, MAGIC, Witches and Wizards in Harry Potter, NINJAS, in Naruto, GIANTS in Shingeki no Kyojin.  The stories are not about Magic, or Ninjas, or Giants but the stories themselves have a greater meaning... WELL, I'VE COME UP WITH ONE EPIC OVERCOVER THEME.  AND IT'S MERMAIDS.  I'm going to write THIS EPIC MERMAID STORY.

Ah fuck, nevermind, just did my research and there can only be female mermaids.  Man mermaids are gross anyway.  Unless... nah.  BUT... Trident combos, whirlpool attacks, Blitzball... but ew, when there's water and humans, that means there must be naked people.  I want my story clothed... dammit!  I was so excited to start this too.

Super Defensive Thinker

I wonder if there's a person who ALWAYS thinks:

If this person asks me this, I'll tell them this

If this person asks me why I'm doing this I'll say this

I'll say this if that person asks me this

When they ask me when I'll say this

And so they come up with premeditated responses..

Is it some kind of disorder to think that?  Or do normal people actually think of this, and that's how their conversations go so smoothly?