What the fuck am I doing

I'm not interested in this real shit.

I'm interested in fairy tales.  Characters.  Made up stuff.  But with real personalities.  Real feelings. I'm wasting my time learning about things that are already here... I'm not a creator, I'm just walking through footsteps that are too big or too small for my own feet (EW I SAID FEET).  Really though... what the hell did I get myself into.... its unfortunate that I was raised to listen to my mind instead of my heart, but its the cause of my mind's downfall...

Things that this other girl irks me:  Her vocabulary.  And she's not genuinely nice. Or maybe she is, she's just realistic?  I don't know.  We can't really talk about anything beyond... lol I have this urge to say beyond good and evil so that's what I'll call it.  We can't really talk about anything beyond good and evil. Jenseits von Gut und Böse motherfucker.

lalala I don't want to care anymore.

It's more embarrassing now looking back at what I just did... I should have just left it alone, but I didn't.

If something I feel is wrong, the limit should be... four days.  After four days, then don't do anything at all and move on.

One day, then apologize quick.  Very quick.  Yup.

But I guess this was an exception because I didn't know what the fuck I actually did... come to think of it though, I didn't know what I did the other time something like this happened, but I detected some sudden animosity so I apologized quickly even though nothing was my fault.... lol wtf!  This is probably why I think I'm better off with older friends.

Mind Over Heart

Yeah, it won't work.   Even if she becomes my friend, and that she likes me, I can't like her because her communication sucks.  She never liked me anyway.

AND, it looks like she was only my friend because I like her like that?

Another reason:  She just got sick of me.

ANYWAYS, despite all this shit, at least it tests the limit to my patience?  Lol.

Volume 1 REWIND. Fascination MAX muthufucker.

I did not force myself to love her.

So I can't force myself out to unlove her.

Beginning of the second volume.

So thus ends my quest in the pursuit of her love.  Maybe.

Goodbye my low profile life style. I need to start networking for my "pride". I just need a little bit, then I'll be okay.  Just a little bit of pride would suffice.

New tongue twister:  Say shutthefuckupshutthefuckupshutthefuckup as fast as you can!

Looking back...

Holy shit how come I didn't move on.  She hung out with this guy knowing his intentions.

Everyone

Everyone wants to be loved
Everyone wants to be loved
Everyone wants to be loved

Not only me
Not only me
Not only me
Not only me

Stop being a bitch
Stop being a bitch
Stop being a bitch
Stop being a baby bitch