Post Friday the 13th

Procrastinating again... led me to Facebook.

About six months ago I deleted all my high school friends.

One of my HS friends added me after I deleted everyone.  I accepted her request.

As I procrastinated, I logged into Facebook to check my friend's friends... to see what they look like now.

And WTF THEY'RE BECOMING HOTTIES.

HOTTER THAN ME!!!!!!

And the girls are looking alright too.

I'm lagging behind... they're all gonna graduate before me.  Start families before me. Meet the Jabbawockeez before me. Make a lot of money before me.

Why am I feeling jealous... this sucks.  Maybe its because lots of people had high expectations for me... I used to be on the top of the world... in elementary.  Now I'm feeling oxygen deprivation from the top.  And I'm suffocating. Anytime now I might jump off  and fall to the bottom.  It's been like this for awhile now.  You got me feeling like a child now. Blah blah came from my toes, wherever it goes people always know.

I guess what I thought was genuine about me isn't.

I can see they spend a lot on money their looks.  While I'm not doing anything.. except for taking a bath everyday.  Yeah, I bet I'm cleaner than them!

I'm supposed to get a haircut tomorrow.  I haven't had one in three months.  My right eye is covered! Argh matey.

And there are couples that I saw coming hehe.

Shoot I really am lagging behind... playing Maple Story again, gaining weight when my goal is to lose more weight and be really healthy physically so I can feel happy about my body.  How can I lose weight when my mom bought like 100lbs of candy...  Snickers, Three Musketeers, Recess, Whoopers, Kitkats, gummy worms.  And tomorrow her KFC coupon expires, so she's going to buy another KFC meal with the salty potato wedges, corsla, and whatever the meal has.  It's so difficult to resist!

Just gotta exercise... eat all I want, just exercise it all out.

Exercise.  Look good.  Feel good.

ANYWAYS, mom bought Posada Chimichaungas this time instead of the usual El Montery. I can honestly say that I prefer El Montery.  Though El Montery's Chimichaungas taste beyond salty, Posada's just tastes too soupy.  There's too much cheese, less meat, and there's vegetables.  While El Montery's has thicker meat, and just has a better taste and texture overall.

Unnatural Diffusion

My heart feels like it dropped right into my stomach.

I can't feel it in its normal place.

... or the place where it has been after being in its normal place.

It wasn't normal for awhile, but I can feel it dropped into my stomach.

It hurts.

I can feel it digesting little by little... slow and cruel.

Op! I just felt the bottom of my heart digest.   My apex.

"Blah blah blah from the bottom of my heart..."  Can't do that anymore, can't keep what I said about it anymore.

I think I'll sleep now.

Maybe when I wake up, it will be ready to be poo'd out.

And when I poo it out...

Just maybe...

I'll feel free. Better.  And relieved.

The remains of my heart will be flushed down the toilet.  I think it'll end up in the ocean.  Riding the tides. Or it'll dissolve, and people will swim in it.  Actually, most likely it'll harden and drop to the bottom of the ocean.  Anyways I hope the tides treat it well.  But that's just if it ends up in the ocean.

Prosecutor Godot from Phoenix Wright Trials and Tribulation says "The weak gets washed away by the tides of fate... the strong drink it up."

Haha, the strong drinks up my poo (assuming that the literal tides of fate is the ocean... or whatever body of water the poo inhabits).