During these times I am kinda glad that "the leaders of the world" care more about life than money. Hashtag faith in humanity.

I am going to abandon my video game hobby...

I am way more than 1/3rd done with life... it's too time consuming, and the only games I remember are the games I played when I was ten.  And the games I do actually play are all sequels and remasters, or a game with a few add-ons...AC:NH,  P5Royal, FFVIIRemake, Trials of Mana, XB Definitive, they are all games with bases I have already covered pretty much, and some of it changed for the worse... I'd rather replay what I have.

If I do play games, it would be replaying something, something from my backlog, or a co-op game...

Only because of my mortality, it just doesn't make sense to keep continuing this and not remembering my experiences.

The people who are making games are now probably younger than me... and yeah, I am just a bitter old man.  You kids get off my lawn!

When I was an adolescent, I've always dreamed of being dead.

I still dream of being dead today.

Maybe it's a heroic death.  There's a kid walking down the street, a truck barrels its way up, I push the kid out of the way and I get mowed down by the wheels...

Or I take a whole bottle of salicylate tablets and gulp it down, washing it down my esophagus with Mountain Dew.

Or I straggle myself with a tournequet.

Or I use an Ace Wrap to hang myself from the top of my stairs.

Or I lie down on my bed and never move to eventually die of starvation, or an infection from a pressure ulcer. 

There are many ways to accomplish a dream.  People take different paths, and can end up in the same destination...

I think I'm just too lazy to kill myself.  A mixture of being too lazy and too fearful.

Yeah, I am in no position to kill time right now.  Oops!

I probably will end up killing myself before I turn 30.

Words are easier to follow when it is put in other people's words.  Why am I not confident in my own thoughts?

How do you cope with all this?

Work.

Arrest of a stone Buddha