In my lifetime thus far, there were three girls that kicked my ass.

The first one... happened a decade ago.  It was more of a "puppy love" kind of thing.  Basically, she was emotionally mature, and I was not, and I ended up looking like a wuss.

This is where things get real.  Because I would have never come to this realization if it wasn't for getting into 48G, mainly their variety shows and drama shows where they introduce me to the popular Japanese labels "S" and "M"  S is short of sadist and M, for masochist.

The second one was crazy.  She was definitely masochist, and complimented me for sending her hate letters.

Being stupid, I sort of generalized girls subconsicouly during this phase (and possibly all the life I had that led up to this phase).

So, I treated the third girl with hate, but she responded differently... by avoiding me.  She was definitely a sadist though because she would talk to people semi-tsunderish.  She would say "fuck you!" And she even said that she can't feel other people's joy.

Anyways, I just like labeling people, and I found labels for the girls who kicked my ass.  Miss S, Miss M, and... the first one, whatever her label should be.

I had two dreams of Obama this week, on different days.

The first dream was I attended one of his speech things.  The room looked like a smaller version of where the UN meetings are held.  Obama was making lots of jokes, but no one was laughing, except for himself, he would be laughing at his own jokes.  Afterwards there was a meet and greet thing, and I joked to this white person I was hanging out with that we should go greet Obama.  I was joking because I knew the lines would have been too long, but my white friend who I had no idea who he was, agreed, and forced me along with him to meet Obama.

Then I somehow lost my white friend and I met Obama all by myself.  Obama was rolling a red roller backpack and was ready to take the airplane.  Obama greeted me and laughed and asked for my phone number.  I gave him my brother's phone number for some reason.  And then the dream gets all blurry, I probably woke up at this point.

The second Obama dream happnened this morning.  I was in a post office...  I remember it vividly when I woke up this morning, but as soon as I used my Stamina and Energy for FFRK and FFBE, I completely forgot.. but for some reason I remember Obama shooting darts from his mouth.

So I'm a little late, but I got Pokemon Sun and Moon...

I got it yesterday actually.  I did not open the packaging...

I am still thinking of what to name my Pokemon.  I'll have all three starters in my team.  I'm thinking of naming them after:

• Xenosaga characters
• Suikoden characters
• Philosophers
• AKB48 members
• Names of bacteria
• One Piece/FMA characters

I guess this is what I, and the people get for always bashing the people in political power.

The only thing I can do at this point is hope that he proves everyone wrong.

But I'm a bad person.

So, I am genuinely hoping he does bad.  And you know what my pathetic reason is?  It's because I voted for Hillary, hoping that she would have been the better pick.  I am just hoping that I was right in my choice of voting. So terrible!

But that's the way my soul works...

Anyways, I've been... awed by manipulation.  I think I'm constantly trying to prevent myself from being "brainwashed."  I've learned that there are three major types of mind control, educational, suggestive, and persuasive.  The one that stands out to me, is the persuasive type.

The persuasive type of mind control is about a reward system, where people continue to do things if they are rewarded with something they woud like.  One example is being complimented.  If a person is complimented in doing something, he will continue to do that thing...

I can probably use this as a skill.  I used to be all about honesty, but honestly, people just hate each other (or maybe it's just me who hates everyone).  So, I'll get my acting skills on and compliment people!  And I won't look like I'm faking it.  It's a win win.  Because, people also intuitively want to be competent in the things they do... and what's the best measure of competence?  I think it's being recognized. I'M GROWING UP.

At least hearing Obama and Hillary's concession speaches were reassuring.

Anyways, I feel so glad that I live in the Bay Area.

I voted for Hillary...

And now I'm kinda glad that I'm not a teacher.

How do I justify name calling to students when the president of our country does it?

One of the things I learned from my Medieval Political Whatever class was that people will follow the leader, follow his ideals and such.  Which is why having a contemplating leader is best, so everyone can just think and not do much.  Not doing much, means less chaos.  And plus, it puts us back in our place as human beings, that we are not god and nothing special, as being a contemplative person confines the ego.

It shouldn't be suprising now because of our president-elect, if everyone shows ignorance. Showing that "it's just words."  Showing that... it's all about ME and not the human consciousness as one collective unit.

What if EVERYONE had the same philosophy except for me?    Would I change?

Things I noticed when revisiting Xenosaga...

• KOS-MOS should be able to fully empathize with people because she is able to recreate one's past.  (Shion and Jr.'s past was recreated when they dove into KOS-MOS via encephalon drive).
• Also, when Sakura is affected by the U.M.N network, could be an allusion to this world and cancer.  
• Shion's "live every day" thing during their confrontation to Wilhelm reminded me of Heidegger's philosophy, where life is about living in the moment.
• At the end, Jin finds peace but strangely started to desire a chaotic life once again.  This reminded me of Dostoevsky's Notes from the Underground, where we sometimes find it pleasant to smash things. 
• Most people see synthetic human beings in Xenosaga's universe as other human beings. When I first played the game, I thought Juli Mizrahi was uncomfortable with MOMO because MOMO was a Realian.  It turns out, she's just uncomfortable because MOMO looks like her first daughter.  
• The Upper Domain needs the Lower Domain, and the Lower Domain needs the Upperdomain,  just like Martin Buber's theology, "God needs us, and we need God, which is our reason for living."
• Wilhelm is like a Philosopher King, but with the end point.  Philosopher Kings vacilate forever.  Wilhelm thinks forever too, and comes to the end point, which is to reset the Eternal Recurrence.  

There should be more, but I don't remember everything that I think of.