A recovering ex-Christian.
Zohar and the Frozen Flame.
It rained all night last night.  I fell asleep early and missed it.

I've been thinking how important discussions are.

I read Of Mice and Men back when I was 12, by myself, during SSR period in middle school.  I think, usually people read Of Mice and Men as a class, with study guides and tests on it.  But I read it alone, and by myself.

The words were not that difficult to read, and the story is linear.  The ending was a suprise for me though.  To sum up the story from how I remembered it goes like this; the main character and his autistic friend were buddies, and always together.  Eventually they start working and live in this new area.  The main guy befriends new people at this new place.  The autistic guy gets in trouble for killing this woman, who is important to that new place.  The main character shoots and kills his buddy, the autistic guy, because, in my mind, I thought both of them would be in trouble.

Back then, I thought, wow, betraying your friend like that?  So that's how life works...

So like... 10+ years later, I read the SparkNotes, and it says that the main character kills the autistic guy for a more peaceful death, because he would have been lynched anyway.  Wow, and all this time I thought Mice of Men is renown for it's ending, that it's okay to kill your buddy.  I never considered kiling anyone though, I just thought that that's what Of Mice of Men is about.

Do I really have to feed my ego like everyone else?  Why can't I just do nothing, why does the collective conscious award and congratulate those that accomplish meaningless things?

I wonder why people like explanations of things, and how teachers prefer explanations rather than aphorisms.  I think people think more of aphorisms rather than things that are explained.  If it's explained, people just go... "oh, okay. (THE END)"

I hate people's opinions so much... why does everyone have to think of everything!!!

And they just come out, spontaneously! Very sickening.  Recluse recluse recluse recluse.

Lately, I've been thinking that "good" people are only good because it satisfies their ego, and ultimately, fondles their will to power.  And this satisfaction, is the primary reason to be, or act, good.

But now, I think it's just something natural.  Some people do good things, and some people don't.  Some people just help those who are in need of help, and it's just like that.  Yep.  You can say all you want about them, but they just do what they do.

Altruism.  Amygdala.  Altruism.  Amygdala.  Altruism.  Large amygdala... large altruism...

The desire to help people is genetic.  Just like everything else.  Of course, I have no basis or research to back things up, it's just thoughts.

Now I'm wondering... is the size of the amygdala collectively in the human species getting smaller or bigger?

I think everyone's depressed.  Literally, everyone in the whole world.

And there are those who are just more depressed than others.

And all these people who are depressed, like everyone, because everyone is depressed, think that they are not supposd to be depressed.  They think that they're not supposed to be depressed. 

So what do these people do?  They blame their depression on external factors.  Like, how everything is by chance, blaming DNA, and... for those who don't know much about Biology, blame something else, blame something prominent in the media, blame something that they see everyday... government.

Yes, government.  These people, these depressed people want "change."  But it's impossible. It's impossible to clense sadness away. Depression is innate.  They think they can be happy if Trump becomes president.  But it's not like that.  But they are going to vote for him.

Ugh!!! These "Let's Make America Great Again" people piss me off Lol, oh god, trying not going on Twitter or Facebook because that's all you hear in whatever is trending... wish I could block Trending Topics.

Ahhhh this cute Indian-looking girl in my class... who's four years younger than me, and a left hander, guessed that I was 19.  I wanted to ask her out, but it's too weird for me, because I'm so behind in capitalism life, which would lead to me being insecure.  It's cute how she just randomly talks to people around her, and when she talks it's like she's always thinking.  A very contemplating speaker, and observant, who doesn't sound flirty.  And she braids her hair into a tail, and it hangs over her front shoulder.  Very stylish. I don't even know if she's Indian, her skin is darkish though, but she could be one of those dark Filipinas... Nah, I doubt it, she has to be Indian.

I keep staring at her in lab, because she sits on the same lab bench as me, but there's another person in between us, but I'm closer to the back, and she's closer to the front, so when the teacher is lecturing, I can see her, and I always look at her and her glasses, because her side profile makes her look kinda old, so I was thinking she was like a thirty year old Lol.

Anyways, I was stressing out on Final Fantasy Record Keeper, because the event for the Memory Crystal III ends in two days, and I didn't think I could make it.  I tried an all FFVII team with full relm synergy equipment and my team was obliterated.  But today!!!  I composed a cheese team with all healers and super soul breaks, and I cheesed to victory.

Minwu has learned: Will of the White Mage
Cloud has maxed out: Blade Beam
Penelo had maxed out: Intercession
And my trump card, Garnet: Dagger of Resolve and Divine Guardian, maxed.

Tyro didn't max Sentinel's Grimoire but I brought him in anyway for Full Break. I also brought along a Tyro with Sentinel's Grimoire as a Roaming Warrior.  Look at my twitter for my builds.  I also didn't max any of the abilities except for Curaga probably.  Cloud was regular Attacking most of the time since I ran out of ability uses.

KITAAAAAAAA!!!

Iriyama Anna, was following zero people on Instagram.  Until today.

She's following one person.  One person only.  And it's Kizaki Yuria.  YuriAnnin, next big major pair now that YuiParu is breaking down to Yui and Paruru.