defect... I'm a defect.

Maybe those who get depressed are those who are striving to be different because in the end we know that we all have to be alike... but we're actually not that different I think.  We're only different for two reasons:  Our genetics, and the environment (this includes the media and its stupid advertisements).

Anyways, I really think I'm mentally ill, especially when I really really really like someone.  It's been so long and I think I still like her so much.

Damn, my blog's not exciting because I only post one side of myself... my internal side.

I should start posting my superficial side, which would!... consist of a lot of pictures.

I think that would be the benefit of having an iPhone or whatever though... I'd be able to picture everything that's around me, and I think if I was in a relationship with her, she'd be less anxious because I can show her exactly what I'm up to at anytime she wants to know.

Path from Actual to Ideal self

Is this "Ideal" self an illusion of the mind created by this consumerist and easily influenced society?  Where did I get these ideas of who I wanted to be...

As a kid, I admired the impossible to become.  They are:

Geno.

That's probably it, that I could think of from the top of my head.  I think it's pretty cool actually, and I've always been a Geno fan ever since I opened up the instruction manual of Super Mario RPG when I was eight.  So this is psychologically correct, since its consistent with what I was when I was little (thinking that it's still pretty cool).

I have to somehow connect everything I do to my own philosophy to justify whatever action I do no matter how random the things I do are.

A Random Stage

How a fly feels (but with human emotions) intruding a human's house.  With the residents determined to eliminate it.

#*$& it.

I'm just going to say wassup to everyone I see now.

Stop thinking and say wassup.

Need. To build my social confidence this way.  Also, I need some networking.  Say wassup to whoever I'm passing by, say bless you whenever someone sneezes, and say fuck you to those who talk during lectures.

I'm going to go crazy if I don't try following up on my "ideal" self, and that's not okay.

First step!  ADDING COOL WHITE GIRL ON FACEBOOK.

I think I look like I'm crying when I'm kinda smiling.  This kinda sucks.

Capitalism + Education

I think that this combination has created this new age... I call this new age the Age of Entertainment.

Because of the technology, and the realization of blah blah blah, people now live to be entertained and blah blah blah no more religion, god is dead, blah blah society's collapse, blah blah blah no more fucking morals, no more living in fear... entertainment !