I keep thinking that my past three years at college was unfruitful. I did not gain anything out of it, and my life wasn't progressing.
But no matter what happens, life progresses as time progresses.
College chapters:
1st year- Identity
Thinking what I want to do, but not really wanting to do it, and feeling empty.
2nd year- Love
It is what it is. Mind over heart.
3rd year- Resolution
Experiences with the elderly, rediscovering my passion for teaching. The solution to love.
Before, my depression was about what was currently happening to me. But now it's all anxiety and uncertainty of the future. Just gotta pound my chest and follow my schedule. Keepin my room clean and organized. Staying groomed.
and OMFG, just lost my 21st battle on Multi-Train, and it's not even super multi... only Durant left with like 1 HP in the end before it iron headed Sawk.
My team:
Hydreigon- Modest/Alert to Sounds- equipped with Expert Belt
DarkPulse/DragonPulse/FlameThrower/U-Turn, and
Garchomp- Lonely/Often Dozes off- equipped with Dragon Fang
Earthquake/DragonClaw/FireFang/Stone Edge
Hilda had a Reuinicleus or whatever it is, with Focus Blast, Psychic, and some other two moves that I forgot. And a Sawk with Earthquake.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
That House.
Instead of writing about my past experiences at my first Clinical rotation, I will try my best to stay current. I can't relive the same feelings I have felt that would have enabled me write about my first Clinical rotation's experience, but I will remember it. And it's an experience that I would forever cherish in my heart.
A man has lost hope. He claims that he wants to die. Yet his presence has sparked my soul. The elderly may generally think that they do not have any purpose to breath, feeling incompetent to themselves and others. However, they are still people in my mind, and every single person can create an impact. People may have different views to live, like most of the people, and the elderly, in that their role in life is to raise their children, and work until their physically and mentally tired, or disabled by nature's will. I don't know what I'm saying anymore, but I think everyone has the right to live, no matter if they're disabled, evil, or crazy, or whatever. I enjoyed my time at this facility. It was so refreshing, interacting with people with dementia, and disabilities. It was a calming experience. It made me forget my personal troubles, even though I was having trouble at the facility, the disappearance of my own personal troubles exceeds normal trouble.
I got to experience real history. The elderly, this is everyone's final result that we can witness that will happen to us. We will get old. But we will still live, and we have to live our best. Being a CNA has reminded me that everyone needs help. Whether its the elderly, or young kids, everyone wants to be helped in life, and everyone wants to feel good. MV, my favorite, who I first fed, who was suffering from depression, was still living. Pushing after four years. Paralyzed. Waiting to die. Checking off "It is not wonderful to be alive." What do you do when it's not wonderful to be alive? Naturally, we can't kill ourselves, but we have to live somehow. During that time in between death and the ignition of depression, what do we do? I'm not trying to say that only certain people touch my lives, they all do. DT also said he wanted to die.
Before entering a resident's room, a picture of them, usually, of what they looked like when they were younger, accompanies the room number. Seeing their picture when they were younger was also a gift of fascination this facility offered. My first weeks in here, was truly emotionally draining. That these people, who say HALP, I NEeD TO PEE, IS THERE CAKE? , used to be out of this facility. They used to walk in the streets, and can comprehend what's around them, and are like everyone else. But they change. I wonder if people with dementia are really conscious, but it's just their outer self acting. And the true "person" really doesn't know what he's doing in the outer world, but inside, they feel the same as everyone else who isn't diagnosed with "dimentia".
Anyway, back to DT. I would feed him, and rub his back if he fell asleep while I was feeding him. I took him to the bathroom when he needed to go, answered his call lights even though my heart dropped. His family was there, his daughter and son one time, and he said IT'S MY BUDDY when I answered the call light. I felt so happy and good about myself that I was called his buddy. I felt like I was the only person who was doing the best to give the best possible experience. And maybe that's what I'm looking for in life. To do something no one else can do, so I try my best to be better than everyone, because no one can be better than the best, and ew I sound so arrogant, but it's the truth. I did the same sort of back rub in Bingo to O. She would always yell at people, spit at people, and throw her drinks at people. But she was sitting, closing her eyes and I rubbed her back while placing the chips on their respected spots on the Bingo board. And when I had to go, she said thank you. For breakfast, she eats in the room where unconscious looking-people go to be fed, yet she said thank you and smiled, which made me feel good. And I know that she was alert when I did what I did because she looked at ease when I calmed her.
I'll never forget Mr. C who needs to P. MV, who I can most relate to. Professor L and his History channel, MA and her thoughts, my buddy DT, O's smile and teeth. I did not see it, but one of my friends in my clinical would say that he would rub his wedding band, and smile or look sad. His wife died a few years ago. Nursing Homes are so emotionally draining. It's like a different world like no other. However, it's a satisfying sort of emotional draining. Like raising kids. I haven't raised kids yet, but we do it anyway no matter how tiring it is. I only regret not documenting my experiences every single time I've spent there. The new facility where I'm at, is alright. I'm getting used to it. I brought a lady milk, since she used the signal light to call and ask for milk, and she said thank you. But before that, me and my friend were talking to her. And that lady was hitting on me. Oh well.
Today's my brother's birthday, and I was invited to a friend's birthday tomorrow but I can't make it. GO NEW ORLEANS HORNETS.
A man has lost hope. He claims that he wants to die. Yet his presence has sparked my soul. The elderly may generally think that they do not have any purpose to breath, feeling incompetent to themselves and others. However, they are still people in my mind, and every single person can create an impact. People may have different views to live, like most of the people, and the elderly, in that their role in life is to raise their children, and work until their physically and mentally tired, or disabled by nature's will. I don't know what I'm saying anymore, but I think everyone has the right to live, no matter if they're disabled, evil, or crazy, or whatever. I enjoyed my time at this facility. It was so refreshing, interacting with people with dementia, and disabilities. It was a calming experience. It made me forget my personal troubles, even though I was having trouble at the facility, the disappearance of my own personal troubles exceeds normal trouble.
I got to experience real history. The elderly, this is everyone's final result that we can witness that will happen to us. We will get old. But we will still live, and we have to live our best. Being a CNA has reminded me that everyone needs help. Whether its the elderly, or young kids, everyone wants to be helped in life, and everyone wants to feel good. MV, my favorite, who I first fed, who was suffering from depression, was still living. Pushing after four years. Paralyzed. Waiting to die. Checking off "It is not wonderful to be alive." What do you do when it's not wonderful to be alive? Naturally, we can't kill ourselves, but we have to live somehow. During that time in between death and the ignition of depression, what do we do? I'm not trying to say that only certain people touch my lives, they all do. DT also said he wanted to die.
Before entering a resident's room, a picture of them, usually, of what they looked like when they were younger, accompanies the room number. Seeing their picture when they were younger was also a gift of fascination this facility offered. My first weeks in here, was truly emotionally draining. That these people, who say HALP, I NEeD TO PEE, IS THERE CAKE? , used to be out of this facility. They used to walk in the streets, and can comprehend what's around them, and are like everyone else. But they change. I wonder if people with dementia are really conscious, but it's just their outer self acting. And the true "person" really doesn't know what he's doing in the outer world, but inside, they feel the same as everyone else who isn't diagnosed with "dimentia".
Anyway, back to DT. I would feed him, and rub his back if he fell asleep while I was feeding him. I took him to the bathroom when he needed to go, answered his call lights even though my heart dropped. His family was there, his daughter and son one time, and he said IT'S MY BUDDY when I answered the call light. I felt so happy and good about myself that I was called his buddy. I felt like I was the only person who was doing the best to give the best possible experience. And maybe that's what I'm looking for in life. To do something no one else can do, so I try my best to be better than everyone, because no one can be better than the best, and ew I sound so arrogant, but it's the truth. I did the same sort of back rub in Bingo to O. She would always yell at people, spit at people, and throw her drinks at people. But she was sitting, closing her eyes and I rubbed her back while placing the chips on their respected spots on the Bingo board. And when I had to go, she said thank you. For breakfast, she eats in the room where unconscious looking-people go to be fed, yet she said thank you and smiled, which made me feel good. And I know that she was alert when I did what I did because she looked at ease when I calmed her.
I'll never forget Mr. C who needs to P. MV, who I can most relate to. Professor L and his History channel, MA and her thoughts, my buddy DT, O's smile and teeth. I did not see it, but one of my friends in my clinical would say that he would rub his wedding band, and smile or look sad. His wife died a few years ago. Nursing Homes are so emotionally draining. It's like a different world like no other. However, it's a satisfying sort of emotional draining. Like raising kids. I haven't raised kids yet, but we do it anyway no matter how tiring it is. I only regret not documenting my experiences every single time I've spent there. The new facility where I'm at, is alright. I'm getting used to it. I brought a lady milk, since she used the signal light to call and ask for milk, and she said thank you. But before that, me and my friend were talking to her. And that lady was hitting on me. Oh well.
Today's my brother's birthday, and I was invited to a friend's birthday tomorrow but I can't make it. GO NEW ORLEANS HORNETS.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Dream World
Transferred all my Pokemon Diamond, Platinum, and White Pokemon to Black.
Just need to transfer all of SoulSilver.
I only need these: Hopip, Sunkern, Sentret, Buneary, Glameow, Murkrow, Staravia,Driftloon, and a few legendaries. Though, I'll locate and befriend the non-legendaries in the Dream World.
I can't access the Dream World for some reason, so I missed out on three days.
Just need to transfer all of SoulSilver.
I only need these: Hopip, Sunkern, Sentret, Buneary, Glameow, Murkrow, Staravia,Driftloon, and a few legendaries. Though, I'll locate and befriend the non-legendaries in the Dream World.
I can't access the Dream World for some reason, so I missed out on three days.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Pokemon BW
So lyke my six Pokemon of Black version are almost 100!
Archeops- Lv 94, Lilligant- Lv94, Krookodile- Lv94, Hydreigon- Lv95, Volcarona-Lv94, Emboar- Lv95
Though my original 6 consisted of a Victini (55), Gigalith (35), Unfezant (35), and Vanniluxe (70). I had like 12 in rotation because it was so easy to level them up.
I still need to transfer my Thundurus from Pokemon White so I can get Landorus.
I'm leaving my Pokemon White right before the first run at the Elite 4 just because I want to see Ghetsis and N again.
Bisharp- Lv56, Golurk Lv56, Leavanny-Lv56, Victini- Lv56, Samurott- Lv56, Thundurus- Lv50 (going to replace with Zekrom)
Just realized I didn't blog about Pokemon Black/White at all... just Pokemon in general because I have finished Black that day I started talking about my official battling team thing.
Pokemon Dream World is fun... but it just costs too much Berries. I'm leaving Carl, my Vanniluxe, tucked in.
I got a Glaceon in that befriend a Pokemon game ^^
Spring Break starts.
Archeops- Lv 94, Lilligant- Lv94, Krookodile- Lv94, Hydreigon- Lv95, Volcarona-Lv94, Emboar- Lv95
Though my original 6 consisted of a Victini (55), Gigalith (35), Unfezant (35), and Vanniluxe (70). I had like 12 in rotation because it was so easy to level them up.
I still need to transfer my Thundurus from Pokemon White so I can get Landorus.
I'm leaving my Pokemon White right before the first run at the Elite 4 just because I want to see Ghetsis and N again.
Bisharp- Lv56, Golurk Lv56, Leavanny-Lv56, Victini- Lv56, Samurott- Lv56, Thundurus- Lv50 (going to replace with Zekrom)
Just realized I didn't blog about Pokemon Black/White at all... just Pokemon in general because I have finished Black that day I started talking about my official battling team thing.
Pokemon Dream World is fun... but it just costs too much Berries. I'm leaving Carl, my Vanniluxe, tucked in.
I got a Glaceon in that befriend a Pokemon game ^^
Spring Break starts.
Monday, April 11, 2011
INFP
Taking this test: http://www.personalitytest.net/cgi-bin/q.pl
My personality is INFP. I landed an INTJ in the other one I took. hMmmMM.
And comparing the two, I think I'm more of an INFP. But I also like the experimenting part of INTJ.
Actually, the "good writer" part of an INFP makes me more of a NOT INFP.
EDIT: INFP IS SUCH A GIRL. When someone asks, I'm an INTJ.
My personality is INFP. I landed an INTJ in the other one I took. hMmmMM.
And comparing the two, I think I'm more of an INFP. But I also like the experimenting part of INTJ.
Actually, the "good writer" part of an INFP makes me more of a NOT INFP.
EDIT: INFP IS SUCH A GIRL. When someone asks, I'm an INTJ.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
dislikes list.
-When people in my memory forget memories that I cherish. I guess it'll sadden me to befriend the elderly who'd forget a lot... and babies.
I miss Chaparral. I think I'd want to volunteer there. I'll edit this later with my memories.
I miss Chaparral. I think I'd want to volunteer there. I'll edit this later with my memories.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
whatdoIdowhatdoIdo
So I've been nice to this one girl in class, and she keeps reminding me how she thinks about me all night and now I think she's hitting on me BUT I don't like her and I just want to help her but I don't like her like that and what if I reject and she beats me up or haunts me for the rest of my life OMFG help.
Why am I cursed with such a great personality and good looks.
Now I know how it feels to be the heart breaker, and now I know how she possibly felt OMFG. Like what Iris would say, I am such a child.
IF ONLY I LIED. I should have said I have a girlfriend and I SHOULD have said that I had a girlfriend (because having a girlfriend before makes me unattractive methinks).
Thinking of that, she doesn't think about me at all either so WTF my wasted thoughts.
Why am I cursed with such a great personality and good looks.
Now I know how it feels to be the heart breaker, and now I know how she possibly felt OMFG. Like what Iris would say, I am such a child.
IF ONLY I LIED. I should have said I have a girlfriend and I SHOULD have said that I had a girlfriend (because having a girlfriend before makes me unattractive methinks).
Thinking of that, she doesn't think about me at all either so WTF my wasted thoughts.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Pokemon Team Update
Glaceon
Magmar
Altaria
Liligant
Typhlosion
Charizard
... I think I have too much Fire Pokemon though. And I do like Magmar more than Magmotar... if I'd take a Pokemon out, it would be Charizard. And I forgot about my Swampert. Hm.
Maybe it'll be: Tyhlosion, Swampert, Altaria, Glaceon, Liligant, Magmar
Would have been cool to have: Zoroark, Gallade, Volcarona or Lucario though. I'm lacking a Physical Attacker... and a Physical Defender.
If I add in Volcarona, I'd take out Typhlosion. But that would tamper with my "one Pokemon from each generation" OCD.
Anyways before I start seriously thinking about this, I have to complete my Pokedex. So far:
Missing in Pokemon Diamond:
151: Mew
207: Gligar
213: Shuckle
216: Teddiursa
217: Ursaring
228: Houndour
229: Houndoom
234: Stantler
249: Lugia
273: Seedot
274: Nuzleaf
275: Shiftry
303: Mawile
335: Zangoose
381: Latios
383: Groudon
472: Gliscor
492: Shaymin
493: Arceus
And I eliminated with Strikethrough those found in my SoulSilver game.
I'll also omit the evolved Pokemon. Mawile and Shuckle were copped in my Black, so that leaves me with:
207: Gligar In Platinum
273: Seedot
492: Shaymin
493: Arceus
My Diamond version also says I have a Jirachi... but I looked in my PC and no Jirachi!
EDIT: Caught Seedot. Just need Arceus, Shaymin, and Jirachi... and another DS to trade!
Magmar
Altaria
Liligant
Typhlosion
Charizard
... I think I have too much Fire Pokemon though. And I do like Magmar more than Magmotar... if I'd take a Pokemon out, it would be Charizard. And I forgot about my Swampert. Hm.
Maybe it'll be: Tyhlosion, Swampert, Altaria, Glaceon, Liligant, Magmar
Would have been cool to have: Zoroark, Gallade, Volcarona or Lucario though. I'm lacking a Physical Attacker... and a Physical Defender.
If I add in Volcarona, I'd take out Typhlosion. But that would tamper with my "one Pokemon from each generation" OCD.
Anyways before I start seriously thinking about this, I have to complete my Pokedex. So far:
Missing in Pokemon Diamond:
207: Gligar
213: Shuckle
217: Ursaring
229: Houndoom
273: Seedot
274: Nuzleaf
275: Shiftry
303: Mawile
335: Zangoose
472: Gliscor
492: Shaymin
493: Arceus
And I eliminated with Strikethrough those found in my SoulSilver game.
I'll also omit the evolved Pokemon. Mawile and Shuckle were copped in my Black, so that leaves me with:
273: Seedot
492: Shaymin
493: Arceus
My Diamond version also says I have a Jirachi... but I looked in my PC and no Jirachi!
EDIT: Caught Seedot. Just need Arceus, Shaymin, and Jirachi... and another DS to trade!
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